The Not So Timey Wimey Stuff
by TrappedGenius
Summary: A series of one-shots about the domestic life in the TARDIS. Because having adventures isn't the only cool thing in the time machine. Aside from the Doctor's bow tie, of course. Starring the 11th Doctor, the Ponds and River Song. A bit of River/Doctor now and then.
1. Pipey Problems

**A/N: I don't own Doctor Who, obviooousssly. This is first in an I'm-not-so-sure-how-long series of one shots about general life in the TARDIS for the Ponds, the Doctor, and occasionally River Song. Assume this is set a little while after Let's Kill Hitler or something I don't really know. Before the series finale, definitely. Enjoy, reviews appreciated! If you have an idea feel free to mention it in a review or PM me. Also shout out to TimeyWimeyNerd, she kind of inspired the title. **

* * *

"Doctor!" Amy ran into the main control room, a towel secured around her body and her hair dripping onto the TARDIS floor. "Doctor!" she called again, tapping her foot impatiently.

A loud bang, quickly followed by an "Ow!", as the Doctor's head emerged. "Yes, Pond? I was trying to fix the-"

"I don't care what you were trying to do!" she said, frustrated, marching over to him. "Why is there no more hot water? We're in a time machine, we can go anywhere at any time, and there's not even any hot water?"

Rubbing his head nervously, he pulled himself up completely. "Ah, yes. Sorry about that. That would be me messing with the, umm, pipe-y things."

Crossing her arms, Amy looked at him incredulously. "Pipe-y things? I - well, whatever. Just fix it, please? I'm trying to take a shower! Honestly, Doctor!" She stomped off, causing the floor to vibrate loudly. The Doctor winced.

"Yes, fixing!" he said to no one in particular, jumping down and scanning the pipes with his sonic screwdriver. "Pipes. I know how to fix pipes, of course I can fix pipes..." He continued to sonic them for a while, not quite sure what he was looking for. Nothing happened.

Looking at them, trying to think of anything and everything he knew about pipes, he was stumped. And a bit embarrassed. He was the Doctor, he could fix everything timey wimey, but pipes? He just didn't have a clue. Ooh, this was new.

He supposed he could just leave it, hoping the TARDIS would repair itself. Well, that's what the prouder part of himself said. But no. Maybe he could call someone and ask? He squirmed at the thought. If there was one thing the Doctor didn't like, it was asking for help.

But he didn't really have a choice.

Jumping up again, he ran over to his phone, trying to think of anyone he could possibly call that was good with pipes. And wouldn't not let him forget it by constantly tormenting him about it. No one. Well, then he had no choice.

"Rory!" he called into the TARDIS speaker that played his voice into all of the TARDIS's rooms. "Rory the Roman, would you kindly come here, please?" Putting the speaker back in place with a flourish, he started pacing back and forth, wondering how to ask him without seeming like an idiot.

Rory started walking down the steps towards him, looking rather annoyed. "What is it, Doctor?"

"Well, I ah," he began, gesturing to the pipes with a grin. "I have a little pipe-y problem."

The man looked at him a moment, confused. "A what problem?" he asked, peering down to where the Doctor was pointing.

"Oh, just come here."

They walked down to where the pipe was now dripping. "Oh, that's a bit not good," the Doctor tapped the metal hesitantly. "Well, I was trying to fix these little oojimaflips when the hot water just kind of stopped and now it's dripping, as you can see."

"Wait," Rory was smirking. "You can fix all of this massive time travelling stuff, but when it comes to pipes, you're confused completely."

"Utterly discombobulated, yes," the Doctor said with an air of not caring. "But anyway, can you fix them?"

Rory had wandered away a bit, apparently looking for something. "Yeah, Doctor, I think I've found the problem."

"Ah!" he clapped his hands. "Fantastic. Brilliant. So, can you fix it?"

"Oooh, I don't know, Doctor. Looks a bit complicated. May take a while," he said very seriously.

"Well, you just take your time, I'll be doing the timey wimey stuff up there-"

"Doctor."

"-No need to worry about me, I mean we have a lot of time, all the time in the world really-"

"-Doctor!"

"Oh good you don't need help, well don't mind me then-"

"Doctor, you turned off the water heater!"

The Doctor paused, turning back around. "Oh. Well, that explains it. Wait - why are they dripping?"

"They're not," Rory replied, exasperated. "They're just wet because drops of water have been dropping from there-" he pointed to the TARDIS floor - "-to there." he pointed back to the pipe.

He flicked a switch, and at once a humming started up again.

"Ah," the Doctor said with a smile. Geronimo!"


	2. Not Quite Barcelona

**A/N: Thanks to Sophia Angelia for the first review! As she put it, yay! And to TimeyWimeyNerd for the second! And to cmartlover for the third! Anyway. ****Still pretty sure I don't own Doctor Who, if I did there would be a spin off about the 10 duplicate and Rose seriously I need it oh my god**

**All fangirling aside now. ****I've decided to (try) to make this a daily thing. I don't know if that'll work out, but hey! ****So, reviews are good and any ideas or prompty things you have, feel free to mention or PM me blah blah blah.**

**Onwards! Enjoy. Oh wait. Time frame. Let's just say after TDW, something like that.**

**This one is so fluffy like whoa and contains some River/Doctor.**

* * *

River Song stepped out of the TARDIS, freezing as she took in their surroundings.

Oh, for _God's_ sake.

Storming back inside, she put her hands on her hips as she came face to face with the man she loved. "Sweetie," she said, her voice light despite wanting to punch him, "Where are we?"

"Barcelona, of course! The planet. Fabulous place, isn't it?" He grinned, leaping towards the doors and sticking his head out. "Oh, right. Maybe not Barcelona."

"No, maybe not, my love." she rolled her eyes.

"Maybe..." he ducked outside for a minute, sniffing the air. "Scotland."

He kneeled down, sniffing the concrete. "Scotland, yes. Scotland around 2011, ish? Boring." he sighed, walking back into the TARDIS.

River was waiting for him, her arms folded.

"Sorry." he said awkwardly.

"Scotland!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. "How can you confuse Barcelona the planet and 21st century Scotland?"

Walking quickly back to the control panel, the Doctor laughed. "I didn't confuse Barcelona with Scotland. It was the TARDIS, she brought me here!" he insisted. His eyes lit up. "That means there's something to fix!"

"Oh, no. No way, sweetie, that's not going to happen." she steered him back inside firmly. "It's my birthday, and you promised me beaches and sun and blue sea, not Scotland."

The Doctor looked at her, astounded. "But there's people out _there_ that need saving!" he stared longingly at the TARDIS door.

"We're in a time machine, my love. We can go back any time, remember?" she said as she practically dragged him out of the TARDIS control room and down the corridor.

"River..." he shook his head fondly at her. "Fine. Where are we going?"

"Oh, it's a surprise." she replied sweetly.

"A surprise? Shouldn't I surprise you, it's your birthday!"

They passed Amy and Rory, who paused and looked at them, dumbfounded. "Umm, what's going on?"

"Hello mother, father dearest," she continued as she spoke.

"Doctor?" Amy called after them.

"Don't worry, we're just going to, umm... Yes. Well. No timey wimey stuff today. See you tomorrow, Ponds!" he called back.

Finally they stopped, outside a set of doors that the Doctor recognised as the entrance to the swimming pool. "No." he crossed his arms. "Absolutely not."

"But..." River glided her finger up and down his arm, barely touching him, yet the action cause him to inhale sharply. "It's my birthday, sweetie."

"No," he repeated petulantly.

"Please."

"No."

"Please," she whispered, her finger still stroking his arm."

He swallowed nervously. "N-no."

Leaning in so that her lips were practically touching his ear, she whispered, "Please."

"I - oh, alright then, but let me go get some different stuff to wear - the TARDIS's wardrobe must have some sort of swimming-y stuff-"

"Nope. No time, sweetie." Flinging open the doors and running in, she started taking her clothes off shamelessly.

"We're in a time machine, there's always - River!" The Doctor blushed, slapping a hand over his eyes. "I am not going _skinny dipping_ with you, birthday or not!"

"Relax, sweetie," she laughed. "I was dressed for Barcelona, so I came prepared. And anyway, you've seen me naked before-"

"What? I have? I - what-" he spluttered.

"Whoops, sorry. Spoilers. Forget I said that. And you can look, I promise I'm not naked!"

Removing his hand from his eyes cautiously, the Doctor's throat instantly went dry. River was wearing a red bikini that - okay, eyes to face, eyes to face, face, face. Yes, face.

River smirked. She knew exactly what he was thinking, or, well, trying to not think.

"Come on then, sweetie," she purred as she descended into the water.

"I'm not going in like this!" he gestured. "Firstly, it would ruin my bow tie-"

"Maybe that's not such a bad thing, my love-"

"Hey! Bow ties are cool!" he said sternly, straightening his as he spoke.

"Just - come on. I'll buy you a new bow tie. Please." she asked earnestly, swimming over to the side.

He strolled over, leaning down at the edge. "River. Let me take the bow tie and jacket off at least." He realised his mistake just a second too late. River reached her arms out as if she was going to hug him, then quickly pulled him in.

The Doctor emerged a few seconds later, spluttering. "River Song!" he said in annoyance, wiping water out of his eyes. "What have you done to my _jacket?"_

He took it off. It was completely soaked through, completely ruined. "This is only hand washable! It was a gift from-"

"Sorry, sweetie. Couldn't resist," she grinned, swimming over to him and looping her arms around his neck.

"River Song, you bad girl," he grinned, having mostly forgiven her.

"Oh, trust me, you have no idea." Their lips met.

Suddenly the Doctor broke apart from her with a shout. "My sonic screwdriver! It was in my jacket-"

"Oh god, don't tell me it's not waterproof-"

"Of course it's not, why would I need a waterproof sonic screwdriver?" he emptied his pockets, finding lots of biscuit crumbs and his poor, poor screwdriver. "You broke my sonic screwdriver!" he yelled, wading towards her.

River had decided it was best just to run, and she was already out of the pool. The Doctor was finding it incredibly hard to move with his clothes weighing him down, and once he'd got out, she was gone.

"River Song, come back here!"

Amy heard a shout from the swimming pool, quickly running in. "You okay - what the hell just happened?"

"River broke my screwdriver!"

"How? Oh, the water again?" Amy leant against the door, trying not to laugh. "How did she manage that?"

"I pulled him in, fully clothed," said a voice behind her.

Unable to control herself any longer, Amy burst out laughing. River joined in, and the Doctor was fighting to keep the smile off his face. "Come here, Amy Pond!" he strode over to her quickly, hugging her tightly.

"Doctor!" she shrieked.

"What's going in?" called a very confused Rory from down the hall.

"Not much, just the usual," River replied with a smile.

It was pretty dysfunctional, and sometimes they almost drowned each other, but they really were a family. A strange, time-travelling, planet-saving family.


	3. Ironing

**A/N:Currently listen to Chameleon Circuit while writing this. If you've never heard of them wHAT IS YOUR LIFE they are the best Doctor Who tribute band EVER seriously go youtube them now. NOW.  
Anyway. I've decided to start writing these ahead so there is more chance I can post them every day. Not sure how long this is gonna be yet, but hey ho! Reviews are good, so are prompty/idea things. You can also prompt me on tumblr (through my ask if you like) which is trappedgenius, yay.  
Thanks to anyone who reviewed, as I'm writing this early I'm just assuming people will, haha. I could always use my TARDIS to see who, but I'm lazy. Oh, this one is kinda short. Sorry.**

**I don't own Doctor Who, y'all already know about my little spin-off idea, but the BBC haven't got back to me yet.  
Sob.  
Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

Now that there were three, sometimes four people living in the TARDIS, its occupants have decided to make a rota for the basic chores that had to be done. This included cooking (something the Doctor didn't have to do due to his abysmal culinary skills), doing laundry, cleaning, and worst of all, something the Doctor found more terrifying than all of his enemies in the cosmos put together... Ironing.

He just didn't _understand _ the concept. Amy had tried to explain it, giving up when he'd started to use the iron the wrong way around. Which was way more painful than he had anticipated. But despite it being _his _TARDIS, that he flew single-handedly, he still had to help do the chores. Urgh, boring. But since he was already excused from the cooking, all three of the residents of the TARDIS insisted he kept doing the ironing. Well, only his own clothes. Unless he was supervised.

But the Doctor just didn't like not being able to do things. And, well, to be fair, they should have seen it coming. It had happened so many times before with other things: Anything the Doctor couldn't do, anything relatively normal, he would just try to do anyway. Usually with disastrous results.

So why is River surprised when she walks into the laundry room only to find the Doctor looking rather frustrated, staring at the shirt she'd been looking for-

Which now had a large scorch mark across the sleeve.

She coughed at the door, waiting for him to notice her. "Ah, River!" he said nervously, moving to stand in front of the ironing board in hope that she hadn't noticed yet. "You're up early."

Deciding to play along from now, she strolled into the room. "Yes, I was looking for my shirt... Have you seen it?" River walked slowly around the room in circles, acting as if she was searching for it, as the Doctor had to turn each time to hide the evidence.

"What shirt? I haven't seen your shirt!" he said hastily.

Now she was starting to get impatient. "Sweetie," she said, as calmly as possible. "I _know _ you're hiding my favourite shirt. I know you've ruined it because you've been messy around with that bloody iron when you're not supposed to, and I would appreciate-"

"Fine," he huffed. "I'm sorry River, but it's just a metal thing with steam. I thought it would be easy."

Well, it was impossible to stay angry at him when he looked at her like that. "You always do," she said, wanting to sound stern but trying not to laugh. "Now, what did I say about the ironing?"

"I can only iron my own clothes, or others' with supervision," he recited, throwing the shirt at her.

She caught it easily, holding it out and sighing. "Got any peroxide, sweetie?"

"I don't bleach my hair, why on earth would I have peroxide-"

"Well, then you're buying me a new shirt," she said with a smile, tossing it back towards him so it landed directly over his head.

The Doctor sighed, tugging it off. "Why do you always throw things at me, River?"

"I don't throw things at you, sweetie. Why would I do that? I throw things at your head. After all, it's better than a fez!" She laughs, disappearing again.

"Hey! Fezzes are cool!"


	4. Fish Fingers and Custard

**A/N: Hello again! Thanks for the reviews, etc., etc. It's actually not to long until the next series airs now, it's kinda surreal and BLOODY EXCITING!  
Anyway. Cough. Thanks to TimeyWimeyNerd for beta-ing this for me, she is lovely and we're writing a collab! /happy dance/. I'll keep you updated about that and stufffff. After this chapter, it won't be just River/Doctor. I'm just getting all of my feels out and then it'll be more varied.  
Enjoy!  
Oh wait. I'm currently writing a River/Doctor kind of song fic that I was going to post in this fic but it doesn't really fit. So keep an eye out for that!**

* * *

****None of the four people on the TARDIS could really cook, and that was starting to become a bit of a problem. Well, Amy wasn't too bad - at least, no one wanted to tell her otherwise. And Rory tried.

The Doctor wasn't bad at cooking, per se, he just tried things that didn't really... End too well. He'd hesitant to try again after he'd burned down the TARDIS's kitchen and she'd had to make a new one. There had been an incident involving several forks and a microwave, one that was still kind of a touchy subject for the Time Lord.

And if the TARDIS had a drawback, it was that they couldn't really order takeaways. So mostly, they lived of chips and fish fingers unless they were staying somewhere else.

The Doctor, being the Doctor, would always beg for custard. Time and time again, they would refuse, and seeing as the microwave incident was still fresh in his mind, he left it.

River stayed out of the 'cooking situation' when she was there. Needless to say, when he strolled in to get the biscuits, he was quite surprised to see her standing in front of the oven, looking annoyed.

"River!" he said. "You're... Cooking!"

She looked up at him. "It was supposed to be a surprise," she sighed, leaning against the counter. "And I'm trying to cook, sweetie, trying being the operative word here."

"Since when do you cook?" he asked, reaching for the biscuit tin.

Slapping his hand away, she tutted at him. "It'll be ready soon. And, well, since now."

"But why? He turned so he was standing next to her, their hands almost touching.

"Ah, spoilers."

Another anniversary of something he hadn't yet experienced. It was early for him, and he knew it hurt her how he knew her less and less each time. It hurt him to see how it hurt her, but there was nothing he could do. He swallowed.

"So, what's for dinner?" the Doctor asked, rubbing his hands together.

"No, that's still a surprise, my love." she laughed.

"It's not anything apple-y is it? Because you know how I feel about apples, they're-"

"Rubbish, yes, I know sweetie. What could I give you that's 'apple-y'?" she raised her eyebrows.

He opened his mouth to reply as the microwave started beeping. Reaching up to try and peer in, he somehow managed to bang his head on the cupboard which hurt quite a bit. During this River had opened the microwave and taken out some plastic pot thing.

"Now, go to the dining room, sweetie." she said, checking the time on the oven.

"Fine!" he replied. "I'll just be... There. Waiting." he rubbed his head.

The Doctor walked down the corridor to the nearest dining room, sitting down at the table with a thump. He didn't like waiting, and he didn't like surprises, so he wasn't too happy.

And River was taking _ages._He'd taken to rocking back and forth on his chair, when he suddenly misjudged the distance to the table and fell on the floor.

"Sweetie, what are you doing?" River asked, eyebrows raised.

The Doctor pulled himself up using the chair, when it skidded forward as he feel straight back down again. Staggering to his feet, he smiled awkwardly. "That was entirely intentional!"

"Of course it was. Now, close your eyes!" she instructed.

"What? Why?" he did so anyway, suddenly hit with the revelation that he trusted this woman. It was a strange feeling to say the least. And there was still so much he didn't know about her. But right now, he trusted her anyway.

He registered the sound of her putting plates on the table, and could smell... No, it wasn't. It couldn't be.

"You can open your eyes, sweetie."

He did so nervously, still hoping that-

It was!

"River, you brilliant, brilliant person," he babbled, kissing her forehead, each cheek and quickly on the lips. "You have no idea how much I love you right now."

He froze at his own words. That was the very first time he'd told River he loved her, and yet... Well, she couldn't know it would be her last. He couldn't hurt her, not when she's done this for him.

"Well, I figured that fish fingers and custard were the best way to your heart," she smiled sadly, and he knew she knew.

They looked into each other's eyes for a moment. The Doctor broke the silence, pulling out her chair. "Let me introduce you, River," he began excitedly, "To the best thing in the world, ever."

Although she was hesitant to try, River admitted it actually tasted kind of good. They talked and laughed, forgetting about the future, eating fish fingers and custard by candlelight.


	5. Olympics

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, dears. DoCtOrWhOlUvEr11 said 'you should do one involving the Olympics!'. Since the Doctor carried the torch back in the David Tennant era, I thought I'd just - well, you'll see! This one turned out more angsty than I anticipated, but oh well. I've probably been making you vomit candyfloss after all the fluff you've had to endure. Anyway. This isn't 'domestic' as such, but still not too 'timey-wimey'. TimeyWimeyNerd beta-d this again because she is wonderful. Enjoy!**

* * *

"I don't understand why you want to watch this, Pond, when we could just go save another planet or something! We could go anywhere, and you chose the Olympics," the Doctor grumbled as the TARDIS emerged in a busy car park outside the stadium.

"Because it's an important moment in British history," Amy laughed, looping her hand through Rory's arm. She had wanted to watch the Opening Ceremony, but the Doctor had absolutely put his foot down and wouldn't budge. River had looked on in amusement, knowing exactly why he wouldn't let them go.

"It's just people doing sporty things and being boring," he muttered back, opening the door and storming out.

Amy raised an eyebrow. "What's up with him?" she asked River.

"Oh, it's a long story. You'll have to ask him yourself, Amy." she replied with a knowing smile. "Now, come on."

They walked out of the TARDIS to see - a full scale riot. People that were supposed to be 'queuing orderly' were running up to security guards and screaming at them, others were literally running around in circles, they were so panicked.

"Okay, what's going on?" Rory asked nervously.

"God save us all!" someone yelled. They grabbed a security guard, shouting, "What if it happens to us, and we don't come back?" They were quickly restrained by several others while the group looked on.

"Doctor, what's happening?" Amy asked, confused.

The Doctor sighed. "Fine. Go back in the TARDIS, I'll explain everything when we get inside."

They walked in, and the Doctor started fiddling with the screen. "There," he told them, spinning the screen so it faced them. "Look."

News coverage from a couple of days ago showed every single person in the stadium disappear, then reappear. "Oh," Amy muttered. "That's why you didn't want us to go."

"That isn't it," River cut in. "Show them."

Silently, he turned the screen back around. There was a man, running with the torch, who collapsed, and then another man picking it up to finish the relay. "I don't get it. Yeah, the guy running with the torch collapsed, but the whole stadium disappeared-" Rory began.

"It's me." said the Doctor quietly.

Amy looked at him. "What? Of course it's not you, you don't look anything like that!"

"Well, yes. Well I did. But not anymore. That was before I regenerated, different body and all that. See, it wouldn't have been too bad if we'd have disappeared. A bit unpleasant, yes, but I didn't want to cross my own time stream. And I didn't want to meet..." he trailed off, turning the screen back to normal. "Well then. Shall we go?"

"Didn't want to see who?" Amy asked, walking round to face him.

"Better go," the Doctor ignored her question. "We've got a riot to sort out and stuff." he grinned at her, walking out of the TARDIS doors.

"River," Amy said quietly. "Who didn't he want to see?"

"Amy," the woman replied. "Normally I'd tell you to ask the Doctor yourself, but I don't want to have to remind him." she sighed, reaching into the inside pocket of her coat and taking out her diary.

"There," she whispered, pointing at a picture she'd stuck inside of a blonde girl standing next to the man from the video - the Doctor, she reminded herself. "Rose Tyler," River smiled. "I hope I meet her someday. She travelled with the Doctor a long time ago. But then she was trapped in a parallel world. She can never see him again, and there are moments, moments when he'll go somewhere or see something that will remind him of her and he'll get this look, and it breaks my heart." River told her, still whispering.

Snapping the book shut, she smiled. "Anyway, come on."

They stepped out again into the car park, only to see the Doctor standing on a chair and using his sonic screwdriver as a microphone. He appeared to be giving them a pep talk, or something like that, and it was... Well, actually kind of working.

"He's going to be so smug after this," River laughed. "He'll probably think that if it wasn't for him, the Olympics would have been a disaster. And, I had to admit it, but it's true."

They watched him quieten everything down, and then jump off and walk over to them. His feet had barely touched the ground when Amy ran over to hug him.

"Oof! Yes, hugging, hugging is good - why are you hugging me?" he asked, patting her back awkwardly.

"No reason," she smiled at River across his shoulder, and she winked in return.

There was a moment of silent, and then the Doctor clapped his hands together once. "Well then, Ponds, River Song, let's go watch people throwing things!"

"Javelin," Rory corrected quietly. "It's called javelin."

"Boring! Everything is boring when you name it," the Doctor grinned, showing his psychic paper to the security guard at the door.

Amy looped her hand through Rory's arm again. "Come on then, Mr. Pond!" They ran into the stadium, walking a little distance behind the Doctor. There was something wrong - but for now, they would laugh and have fun. Later, she would ask him, and there would be more hugs, and they would be a bit closer. All of them.

* * *

**Fluff will return in a big way next chapter, don't worry. Oh! Prompty things are good. You can PM me, leave them in my ask on tumblr (trappedgenius is the url) or just tell me in a review. Until tomorrow!**

**TrappedGenius**


	6. Power Cut

**A/N: Okay guys, 22 reviews already? I love you all. Every single one makes my day and squeee, thank you so so so much. You are all wonderful, brilliant people and yeah. So I'm gonna stop because I'm gonna cry and you aren't here to see my be a freak or rather read me umm**

**This one is quite short again, I didn't have much time to write today. I'll make up for it tomorrow, promise! **

**Unfortunately, TimeyWimeyNerd did not beta this for me because she's busy having French adventures in France. Boooooo.**

**Anyway. ****Enjoy, lovelies. Oh, and any prompt-y things you have, feel free to prompt them in reviews, pms, or on tumblr (trappedgenius is the url) - you know the drill!**

**Return of the fluff, as promised.**

* * *

It had been fine. One minute they were laughing about the way the Doctor had decided to 'style' his hair today, the next, everything was dark.

"Doctor?" Amy asked nervously. "What happened?" They all - well, aside from River - remembered the time when the TARDIS's soul had been taken by a planet, and everything that had happened, all the pain it had caused.

"No need to worry!" He jumped up, running over to the console. "Power cut!" he grinned. "I'll have it fixed in just a second.

"Power cut?" Rory asked. "How can the TARDIS have a power cut?"

"It needs to refuel, so it just turns everything off. Don't worry, I changed it so she would..." he trailed off, muttering to himself as he moved quickly around the room. "Everything will be back to normal in an hour, maybe two..."

"So we just sit in the darkness for an hour? Don't you have... I don't know, back up stuff or anything?" Amy folded her arms.

The Doctor grinned at her. "Oh, Amy. When will you learn? I absolutely do not have back up stuff, or anything not timey wimey. That's boring, isn't it? That's why I got rid of the blue boring-ers."

River sighed. "Why would you get rid of the stabilisers? They stop people from feeling like they're about to be sick when the TARDIS is in flight, sweetie."

"Ahh, it's part of the spacey wacey experience, my dear," he turned to face her.

She shook her head fondly at him. "Don't you ever hear yourself?"

"I try my best not to," he shot back.

"Would you stop flirting, please!" Amy called.

"Well, at least it's dark so we won't, uh, see anything-"

"Rory!"

"Sorry - ow, that was my-"

"Shut up!" The Doctor yelled. "Everyone just - shut up. I'm trying to find the - aha!" he pulled a lever, and...

Nothing happened.

"I'll go get the candles, sweetie, River Song murmured, walking up the staircase and disappearing.

"Since when do we have candles? River?" The Doctor shouted after her, but she had gone.

Meanwhile, Amy and Rory had sat down on the floor and were talking quietly.

"Hello, Ponds!" The Doctor said cheerily, dropping down on the floor with them.

Amy nodded to him in greeting. "So," she said, pulling her legs to her chest. "Power cut, eh?"

"Still shut up!" he said in annoyance. "I can't help it if she doesn't think about the... power-y necessary things."

"You know, sweetie, she doesn't like it when you blame her for your stupidity," River said, carrying several candles in her arms.

"I'm not _stupid_," he said indignantly.

"No, you're only stupid about normal things," she muttered, dumping the candles on the floor and taking a box of matches from her pocket. "Start lighting, then, my love," she smiled.

They had just finished lighting them when the lights suddenly came back on. They blinked in the bright light as their eyes adjusted.

"Oh, that's typical," Amy muttered. "Fantastic."

The Doctor jumped up, practically skipping over to the console. "Well, power's back on."

"Oh, thanks for letting us know," she replied sarcastically. "Well, we're off!" she grabbed Rory's wrist, pulling him along with her. He waved awkwardly.

Continuing without looking at River, the Doctor fiddled a bit more with the controls.

"Sweetie?"

"Normal things are boring," he said. She raised her eyebrow inquisitively, and he continued. "You said I was stupid about normal things, normal things are boring."

"I'm sorry, my love," she said softly. "You know I like the fact that you don't _do_ normal."

She moved towards him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Normal is boring," she quoted him.

He turned around, smiling.

"Even if you are a bit thick sometimes," she continued with a shrug.

"Well, you know what they say," he grinned, putting his arms around her neck.

"What's that?" she murmured.

"Nobody's perfect," he responded.

"Oh, I'm not so sure about that," she breathed just before their lips touched.

It kind of did feel a bit perfect, the Doctor thought to himself. Yep, he thought as her arms encircled his waist. Definitely perfect.


	7. Amy's Music

**A/N: Hello again, my dears! Dandelion Oak gave me two wonderful prompty things, one is in this chapter, and the second will be in tomorrow's. Anyway, for this one, they said 'Amy can be listening to some type of modern music, and it can annoy the Doctor and they can get into some type of fight about it.' Love it! This would be me, in that I hate most modern music. Oh, I keep forgetting disclaimers, but you guys know I own nothing, right? Anyway. Prompty things appreciated, blah blah blah.**

**TimeyWimeyNerd is still having French adventures, so this is not beta-d again. **

**I know I promised a longer chapter, but even just writing a few hundred words takes me awhile, and I'm really busy with Camp NaNoWriMo stuff. Sorry, dears. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Amy was sat on the stairs in the TARDIS's control room, earphones in and feet tapping as she hummed along absentmindedly.

"Hello!" said a voice from behind her. She jumped violently, earphones falling out and making the music play throughout the room. "Sorry. What's that?"

"Doctor!" she groaned. "Why do you always do that?"

He ignored her, moving cautiously towards her iPod as if it was a snake. "What is that _sound?"_

"Music, obviously. "And why are you looking at it like it's got fangs?" she raised her eyebrows.

"But it's all - machiney. What is it?"

"The 21st century," she reached forward to pick it up as the Doctor did the same, grabbing it and putting the earphones in tentatively. "This is... Rubbish! What are they talking about? It sounds like a dying animal!" he spluttered, ripping out the earphones and throwing the device on the floor.

"Well don't break it!" she snatched it off the floor.

He looked at her like she'd grown a second head. "But it's terrible! I need to take you to see... I don't know, The Beatles or something. Ringo loved me, yes, let's go watch The Beatles-"

"It's catchy!" she insisted.

"You can't even hear what they're saying, how is it catchy?" he asked, completely astounded. "What is wrong with human development? I swear, you get cleverer and stupider at the same time."

"I'm sorry?" she scoffed. "Just because you're an alien does not give you the right to judge other people's music choices!" she pointed at him.

"That's not music, that's people talking to a beat! It's basically really bad poetry, it's like William McGonagall 2.0 - though I did meet him once, lovely chap-" he grinned, then frowned. "Wait, what were we talking about? Music, yes! The Beatles." he moved over to the control panel, ready to take them to the twentieth century, when Amy slapped his hand away.

"You... You slapped me!" he spluttered. "Why'd you do that? You _slapped_ me!"

"Whoa, calm down ladies," Rory descended the stairs. "What's going on?"

"Your wife just slapped me, that's what's going on!" he shouted.

"Oh, on the hand, I barely touched you." she muttered. "He was going on about my music."

Rory nodded. "Ah, well, she gets kind of cross when you do that."

"But it's rubbish!"

She pointed at him, and he moved back involuntarily. "Fine," he grumbled. "Just - keep it away from me, okay?"

"Why do the gingers always slap me?" he muttered to no one in particular.

"Oi, just watch it , you!" Amy warned him.

"So, so Scottish," he grinned in reply, avoiding her slap with ease.

"Tell me about it," Rory agreed, wincing as Amy shoved him.

The Doctor fiddled with a few of the controls. "So, can we go and see The Beatles now?" he asked eagerly.

"Oh, fine." she muttered.

"Onwards!" he shouted, laughing as they took off to see even more, and have another adventure.


	8. Hide and Seek

**A/N: Second of Dandelion Oak's prompts: 'River, Rory and Amy can mess about or hide the sonic screwdriver or something'. Well, here you are! This was a lot of fun to write, haha. Anymore prompty/idea things y'all have, well you know the drill!**

**Allons-y!**

**Oh wait! This is un-betad, TimeyWimeyNerd is still having French adventures. And I don't own Doctor Who.**

* * *

"Why are you doing this again?" Rory scratched his head nervously, watching his wife and his daughter discuss where best to hide the Doctor's sonic screwdriver.

"Because it'll be a laugh!" Amy replied, nudging him. "You should help us."

He shook his head quickly. "No, I'm good. I'll just - leave you too it." he waved, before taking the stairs two at a time and tripping at the top.

Amy and River looked at each other before bursting out laughing.

He jumped up quickly. "I'm fine!" he said. "I'm fine."

"Get down here, you," Amy said weakly after composing herself. "Try not to fall over this time, yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, taking the stairs more carefully this time.

River dried her eyes. "Okay then. Where shall we put it? There's always the spa, I don't think he ever goes in there."

Amy grinned. "Oh, don't worry," she replied. "I know exactly where to put it."

"Why don't I like the sound of this?" muttered Rory. "You know he doesn't take this sort of thing well."

"What are you, his counsellor?" she grabbed his arm, pulling him along with them. "Now, come on!"

* * *

The Doctor was looking under the floor of the control room, when he reached into his pocket and realised it was empty.

"Again?" he muttered. "River!" he yelled.

No reply.

"Have you been pickpocketing me again?" he continued.

Silence.

He poked his head up, but the room was empty. Grabbing the speaker, he shouted, "River, have you been pickpocketing me again?"

"Maybe," a voice said back, obviously made louder by the sonic screwdriver. His sonic screwdriver.

He groaned. "How many times, we could be in a life threatening situation and I won't be able to do anything because you'll have my screwdriver!"

She laughed. "Sweetie, don't take this personally, but your screwdriver is rather rubbish. All it does is unlock doors and scan stuff, and it can't even do wood!"

"Right, that's it. Don't diss the sonic!" He hissed. "Where is it?"

"Come and find it," she replied in a sing-song voice.

"But that'll take ages! River!" He yelled, but she'd gone. "I hate you sometimes."

"No you don't!" she mimicked his voice perfectly, then laughed again.

"Give me a clue, at least!" he begged.

Well," she sighed playfully. "I don't know if I should..."

"River this is _not funny, _not at all!" he spat.

"I told you he didn't deal with this stuff well," said a voice.

"Rory?" he asked incredulously. "Don't tell me you're a part of this as well!"

No response.

"...Sorry," he muttered. "It was Amy, she made me!"

"Oh, thanks, just rat me out, why don't you?"

"Amy, you too! You're all ganging up on me!" He frowned petulantly.

"Just come and find us, it's really cramped in here-"

"Rory! You're not supposed to give him any clues!" Amy rolled her eyes.

"Well, it doesn't matter, he rarely goes in here anyway-"

"Rory!" said River and Amy simultaneously.

The Doctor grinned, despite himself. Somewhere small, somewhere he rarely goes in, that narrowed it down to just a few places. "On my way, Ponds, Mrs. Robinson."

"Oh, I hate you."

"No you don't!" he put the speaker back in place with a usual flourish.

He had looked in several places when it finally occurred to him to check... His room. He didn't really think of it as his room, though, he just kind of thought as the entire TARDIS as his room. He'd only been in there a couple of times, and it was mostly empty. Just the furniture that the TARDIS had put in there all that time ago. So, he set off in the direction of his room.

It took him a while to get there. His room was right in the heart of the TARDIS, and he got lost and ended up in the library, but eventually found his way.

It was empty. Well, it seemed to be empty. There was just a bed and a relatively small, empty wardrobe (he kept all the clothes in their own room). Unless...

Whipping back the covers and bending down quickly, he sighed. Not in there. And there was no way they'd all fit in the wardrobe.

The Doctor was about to leave when he heard a sneeze. He spun around instantly, hearing a soft "Ow!" and a rather loud "Shh!"

Acting as if he really didn't know they were in there, he walked away loudly, then slowly tiptoed back to the wardrobe.

"Boo!" he yelled, flinging open its doors. Rory was sitting at the very bottom, curled up into a ball, while River sat the same way, pressed right up against him, causing him to look very uncomfortable. Amy was sitting on top of Rory, quite literally, which looked kind of painful.

"Finally," Rory breathed a sigh of relief. "Err, Amy, can you...?"

She huffed loudly, putting her weight on his knees to push herself up. He winced.

"Well," River jumped up with a smile. "You win! Now, I'll be off." leaving Rory sitting by himself, she walked out of the room quickly.

"Ah ah ah!" he called after her. "River Song, get back here!"

She retreated with a sigh. "Yes, sweetie?"

He held out his hand expectantly.

She placed the sonic screwdriver back in his hand, which he snatched quickly, checking to see if they'd messed with it at all. "I don't understand why you stole it if you think it's so useless," he said to her.

"You're hot when you're annoyed," she grinned, walking out of the room and leaving him standing there, flustered, blushing, and yet, rather pleased.


	9. Piggyback

**A/N: Heyheyhey! I'm writing this very quickly as I'm going out in about, oh, ten minutes. It isn't proof read, let alone betad, so be any mistakes, I apologise for. Okay.  
Sophia Angelia (who was the first reviewer, yay) said 'You could go with a spin the bottle/truth or dare game night or something. That could get all kinds of awkward!;P'  
Indeed, indeed. So, have a bit of drunk!Doctor because he is my favourite. There's only a bit of actual truth or dare, because - well, you'll see.  
**

**In another news, the trailer's on BBC1 tonight! Unfortunately I will be out, so I'll just have to watch it online or something. I'm so excited, Matt Smith is definitely catching up with David Tennant as favourite Doctor ever. Though I kind of love them in different ways. And I don't think anyone can ever replace him, though I love Matt. Also kind of dreading the Ponds leaving, because I will cry like a baby and resort to even more fanfiction. **

**Also more fangirlin stuff: You guys. 32 reviews? Seriously? I love you. I smile like a maniac whenever I read one and everyone around just kind of looks at me like I'm the biggest freak ever. I was on the train this morning when I noticed the number and made a kind of squeaking noise, which got me some weird looks. But seriously. I. Love. You. All.  
Anyway. I gotta be quick, not got much time now aaaaaaah. **

**Enjoy! Oh, reviews/prompty/idea things appreciated. You know the drill.**

**Allons-y!**

* * *

When Amy had suggested that instead of saving a world, or the whole universe, for once, they just went out for a drink, the Doctor had been... Apprehensive.

First of all, the Doctor didn't drink. Second, he didn't frequent bars or pubs, because they were boring. Third, he didn't like drunk people. So going out drinking was not his idea of fun.

But Amy had persisted, even guilt-tripped him, and then River joined in and he didn't mean to but he ended up shouting out a "Yes! Fine!"

They had wanted to just go to any old bar on Earth, which was even more boring. But still he took them anyway, because he still felt kind of guilty about... Well, everything.

So. Here they were. In a bar in Manchester, or maybe Liverpool - he always confused the two- drinking. Well, Amy, River and Rory were drinking. He sat there, sipping lemonade through his straw that added more fizz, looking rather grumpy and fed up. At least they looked like they were having a good time.

Only about half an hour had passed, and the table already had several empty glasses on it. Amy and River were laughing hysterically about something or other, while Rory looked rather confused. As always.

"Wait!" Rory said suddenly. He raised his finger, pointing at the Doctor and jabbing him drunkenly. Uh, he hated drunk people. "You," he mumbled, prodding him again, "You look miserable."

Sighing inwardly, the Doctor gave him a dazzling smile. "I'm fine, Rory."

"No - no! At least have a drink, mate," he patted his shoulder a little too forcefully.

Ow.

"I've got a drink!" he gestured to his lemonade. "See! A drink!"

Rory seemed to find this extremely funny, and started laughing obnoxiously loudly. "No, I meant a drink drink. Like, beer? I'll buy you a beer!" he stumbled over to the bar, catching his foot on a chair leg and very nearly falling over. This caused River and Amy to laugh even harder.

The Doctor buried his face in his hands. This was ridiculous. People were _looking. _Still, maybe they'd be kicked out. But then he'd practically have to carry them to the TARDIS, and fend off River's drunken advances, and watch Rory and Amy snogging even more often than usual. He never should have agreed to this.

Returning with his beer, Rory gave him a lopsided smile. "Drink," he ordered, taking away his lemonade and almost dropping it on the floor in the process.

He did so, ready to spit it all back out again and - hey, it wasn't too bad. It was actually kind of nice. He took another sip. Much better than wine, anyway. It was a bit bitter, but kind of frothy and...cool.

Several beers later, he was just as drunk as the rest of them. If you were to categorise the four into groups, Rory was the confused drunk, Amy and River were happy drunks, and the Doctor was just... The Doctor, but times about 100.

"I know!" Amy shouted out suddenly. "Let's play Truth or Dare!"

Being drunk, the Doctor agreed with the others that it was a fantastic idea.

She pointed at the Doctor. "You should go first."

"Ohhhkay!" he grinned, downing the rest of his drink and slamming it onto the table. "Another!"

Once their glasses were full again, they started. "So, Truth or Dare?" Amy asked drunkenly.

The Doctor may be drunk, but he wasn't stupid. The tiny part of him that wasn't drunk realised they would use truth to get him to answer a bunch of questions he would never answer, and then he'd have to lie, and it would all just be a big mess. "Dare," he grinned. "Truth is boring."

River grinned, whispering something in Amy's ear. She nodded, laughing. He gulped nervously.

"I dare you," River said in a voice that made him think she may not be as drunk as she seemed to be, "To give me a piggyback to the end of the street."

Well, that wasn't too bad, he thought, relieved. Waiting until the bartender's back was closed, she hopped up onto the table, climbing on to his back and clinging on like a monkey.

"Oof!" he groaned. She was heavier than he expected, and had an almost strangling hold on his neck. Stumbling forwards, he began to regret this. River was breathing right into his ear and it was tickly and nice at the same time. He cleared his throat, continuing.

They walked out of the door, River ducking in order to avoid hitting her head, meaning she was even closer to him. It was dark outside, and he shivered, but not from the cold.

"Faster," she whispered in his ear, making him jump. The Doctor obliged. Now they were actually running to the end of the street, just about avoiding passers-by that looked like they were about to call the police or a mental asylum. "Geronimo!" he yelled as they full out sprinted to the lamp post.

River threw her head back and laughed, her curly hair going into his face and blocking his vision.

"Ah!" he yelled, his drunken mind not thinking to ask River to move her hair. They crashed into the building and fell onto the floor in a heap, River still giggling.

"That was fun," he said a little breathlessly. "Beer is cool." He stumbled to his feet.

River held her hand up and he grabbed it, pulling her up so hard that they fell right back down again.

"Hello sweetie," she breathed, now lying on top of him.

The Doctor swallowed. "Hi."

Their lips met, and it didn't even matter that River tasted of cheap alcohol, because she tasted inherently of home, something usually so foreign to him, but now so clear.

* * *

**Second time ending with a kiss, I know, I know. I just couldn't resist;)**


	10. Shopping

**A/N: Hello again!  
Okay. The trailer. All I can say is ASDFGHJKL. I had no idea how much I really missed Doctor Who. Yeah, I knew I missed it, but I didn't realise that it kind of hurt how much I missed it. Sad, sad fangirl, that's all I am.  
But wow. It looks amazing. Dinosaurs and Daleks, what more could you ask for?  
Anyway. This one is quite short, and you'll have another short (but betad) one tomorrow as I'll be at a wedding all day, yippee.  
This is still not betad, etc. You all know about leaving prompty things by now, so there's nothing left to say except...**

**Allons-y!**

* * *

One of the good things about living on the TARDIS was that she restocked herself, meaning they never had to go and buy food. Which was good, because taking the Doctor shopping was not a good idea.

So, how did Amy end up traipsing round a toy shop with the Doctor?

It all started a few hours earlier...

"Doctor!" Amy yelled, walking into the control room. "Where have all my clothes gone?"

He poked his head up, a dawning realisation apparent on his face. "Ah, yes. Funny story about that..."

She crossed her arms. "Good. I love to hear it, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation and you'll get them back for me.

"Of course I will, Pond, I'm the Doctor, I'll always get your clothes back for you... No, no, not saying that ever again." he muttered.

"Stop changing the subject and tell me where my clothes are!" she said, exasperated.

He laughed nervously. "Right. Well. I was down here, being fantastically clever, and I thought maybe I should get rid of a few of the unnecessary rooms then TARDIS has? No more anti-gravity room by the way, that was _cool _but people kept floating off..." he trailed off, noticing the look on her face. "Yes. Well. So I meant to pull the lever that got rid of the dance hall, but I actually got rid of your wardrobe! Silly mistake, really, I don't know what-"

"Okay, but can you get it back?" she asked him.

"Well, that's an interesting question, Pond," The Doctor began, gesturing wildly. "If I rewired the-"

"Can you get it back?" she repeated.

"Umm, well... I mean, I think I... No." he admitted. "This place really need an undo button, doesn't it?"

Amy sighed, then smiled suddenly. "Do you know what this means?"

"What?" he asked, unnerved by her sudden change of attitude.

"It means... You're taking me shopping!" she said happily. "This is amazing. I'm going to find Rory!"

Shopping? Shopping's boring, thought the Doctor. Unless...

* * *

"It's a remote control duck!" he practically screamed with excitement. "How cool is that?"

Of course, he'd taken them to a _toy shop. _Well, it was her own fault. Amy should have specified. Although when she said she needed clothes, she didn't mean for a doll.

"Right, yeah, now take me somewhere I can buy clothes, please." she folded her arms.

He frowned. "How do you not see how cool this is? You can just sit in the bath while your rubber duck zooms around, that's - fantastic!" he yelled, hurtling off in the direction of some other thing he'd seen.

She watched in amusement as he located River and explained about the duck, and as she tried (and failed) to look interested.

"Rory!" she called to her husband, who was in the next aisle looking a bit lost. He looked up, relieved.

"Why do we trust a man that wants to buy a remote control rubber duck?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "I really don't know. Sometimes, I feel like we have two children."

They watched as the Doctor found a miniature skateboard and stepped on it.

"This is not going to end well," Amy murmured.

Sure enough, he immediately crashed into a display of action figures, causing them to cascade to the floor. A big, tough looking security guard started to walk towards him and River, and they walked over to the Ponds quickly.

"Now what?" Amy hissed.

The Doctor cleared his throat. "Well, we do what we always do."

"And what's that?" she asked.

"Run!"

And so they ran out of the toy shop, only to discover that the Doctor still had the duck in his hands, meaning the Ponds had to run back and apologise for their children's behaviour.


	11. Ukulele

**A/N: Why hello there.  
I'm unbelievably tired right now so this chapter is insanely short, sorry. But it's BETAD! TimeyWimeyNerd betad this for me, she's no longer having French adventures which is quite good for me. And, well, for you guys, 'cause you don't have to put up with my crappy spelling/grammar. So, thank you Kate for being an amazing beta and beta-ing stuff for me at 10pm. And we haven't had much time to work on our collab, but it's going to be a River/Doctor AU where River is a completely human companion, so keep an eye out for that.  
Tomorrow's will be longer. I promise! Anyways, prompts and reviews appreciated, you can PM me or leave them in my ask on Tumblr (trappedgenius),etc.**

**All that's left to say is...**

**Allons-y!**

* * *

One of the things Amy had learned about the TARDIS whilst living in it was that you never knew what you'd find.

So, she really wasn't that surprised when she found a box labelled 'Band' containing a kazoo, keyboard, guitar, ukulele and several other instruments she'd never seen before in her life. At the time, she chose to ignore it, thinking it was one of those things that even the Doctor didn't know he had.

But then, when she found the box again next week, the guitar was missing.

Still she shrugged it off. Sometimes things just disappeared on the TARDIS, it wasn't the weirdest thing that happened on it.

Forgetting about the box, she went back downstairs and never mentioned it, thinking nothing of it... Until next week.

Amy had gone into the strange, attic like room where she'd found the 'band' box again looking for an earring she'd lost, only to stumble upon the Doctor...

Playing the ukulele.

"Uh... Hi?" she stood awkwardly, waiting for him to notice her.

The Doctor looked up, still playing as he grinned. "Hello, Pond! Have you seen my ukulele?"

"Well, yeah." she walked over to him. "I didn't know you can play."

He rolled his eyes. "I can play everything."

"Right," she nodded. "But, uh, why?"

"Well," he set the instrument down and sat on a box. "I have a lot of spare time. And I have lived for over a thousand years, what did you think I did for all that time, run around being mad?"

"Yep, pretty much."

He laughed. "You know me too well."

"Soooooo," she swung her legs as she spoke. "Why have you got all of this?"

"Ukuleles are cool. So are kazoos, do you want to see me play?" he asked excitedly.

"No! No, I'm good, actually!" she said hastily. "I'm gonna go get some lunch, do you want anything?"

His eyes lit up. "Five jammie dodgers, please, Amelia!"

"Of course, yeah, no. Get your own biscuits!" she laughed, running down the stairs.

* * *

**Incredibly short, like I said, sorry. But it _will _be longer tomorrow.**


	12. Go To Sleep!

**A/N: Hola, lovelies! Have a longer chapter on me. Fancythat23675 said 'Something, maybe, when the Doctor continues to stay up late, and eventually his friends see that he's tired, and have to convince him to go to bed - but being the stubborn Time Lord that he is, it takes FOREVER.' Also, I'm waving frantically back. Just to let you know, dear:)  
I just wanted to quickly say that I don't think it was a bad idea at all! Don't say 'this is probably a bad idea but...' or 'you probably won't want to do it but...' because so far, all of your ideas have been fantastic, and as the Who fandom, I think we are all epic, and all have fabulous ideas. Okay, mini speech over.:)  
Also, I think I have two other prompty things I haven't done because I've done these in kinda a weird order without realising it. But they're on their way, don't worry!  
TimeyWimeyNerd betad this again, thank you Kate for being quite possibly the best beta in the world and for listening to my whine for hours;) Uh, what else. Oh yeah, any other prompt/ideas appreciated. You can leave them in a review, pm me or leave them in my ask on tumblr, trappedgenius. You all know this by now but I thought I'd remind you!  
All that's left to say is...**

**Allons-y!**

* * *

Living on the TARDIS was actually not as different as it might seem, apart from all the timey wimey stuff of course. But the actual domestic side, the sleeping and the just... Well, living, they were pretty much the same.

So they actually had pretty normal sleeping patterns. Well, Amy, Rory and River - when she was here - did, and they just kind of left the Doctor to it.

The only thing was, leaving the Doctor to do things on his own was not always a good idea, as they had experienced firsthand many times. Of course he couldn't be trusted. They really all should know this by now.

Amy only realised the Doctor hadn't been sleeping when she'd woken up in the middle of the night to get a drink to find him still dressed and eating custard creams.

"Pond! Hello, hello, custard cream?" he offered.

"No, I'm okay. Why are you still up?" she asked, opening the cupboard and taking out a glass.

He raised a finger, chewing and swallowing before he spoke. "Well, lots to do, you know. Biscuits to eat, things to read, tea to drink-" he paused, taking a sip out of a mug. "Busy busy busy!"

Amy nodded slowly. "Right. Well, you must be tired. Every morning, we wake up and you've been awake for hours, when do you sleep?"

"Have you seen these custard creams? If you take the tops of and put top of a bourbon on it's like bourbon-custard cream sandwiches-"

"Okay, I can see I'm not going to get an answer." she flashed him a smile. "Goodnight, Doctor."

"'Night, Pond!" he called back through a mouthful of biscuit.

Then, something similar happened the next night.

Amy had a bad dream and decided to go for a walk. She'd walk into the control room to see - you guessed it - the Doctor sitting on a chair, reading, eating jammie dodgers and drinking tea. He glanced up when he heard her come in, and smiled. "Hello! Bit late isn't it?"

"Well, that's just what I was thinking." she sat down on the other chair. "Why are you still up?"

He put his book aside. "I wasn't tired. How about you?"

She shrugged quickly, "No reason! No reason at all, I just, y'know, wanted to go for a walk."

"A walk?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Fine," she muttered, sighing. "I may have - had a bad dream," she admitted.

The Doctor smiled. "Everyone has bad dreams. I have bad dreams. Remember that time-"

"Yes! Yes, I remember, I just... Don't want to talk about it." she brought her legs up to her chest.

"Why?" he asked her, momentarily confused. Then he remembered. "Oh right, yes. Though it never actually happened, you know, we were in a dream."

Amy shook her head. "I remember it, and I remember how it felt, how I felt, so it happened."

He smiled sadly. "I feel like I should give you a hug right now, but Rory the Roman isn't here and I probably should ask his permission."

"Yeah, well... What about you? You never actually sleep," she said suspiciously. "When was the last time you slept, tell me the truth Doctor,"

He shrugged. "I had a power nap about, uh, 20 hours ago."

"Seriously? How? What are you running off, biscuits and tea?" she asked.

"Oh!" he took a sip from the mug he was holding. "Not tea. It's coffee."

She laughed, raising her eyebrows. "Coffee? You hate coffee."

"No, I don't. I love coffee. Now, back to bed!"

"Ooh, yes Dad!" she said mockingly, but walked away anyway. "Goodnight!"

"'Night, Pond!"

The third night, she had left bed just to see if he was still awake. And when he was, she decided it was time to stage an intervention.

Amy had looked everywhere. The kitchen, the control room, even the swimming pool... And she finally found him in a library, looking exhausted, and drinking coffee.

"Doctor?" She walked over to him quickly. "You look exhausted, why are you still up?"

"I'm not tired," he insisted.

"Don't be ridiculous, go to bed-" she began, reaching out to pull him up.

He moved out of the way of her hand. "No, no, I'm fine, really. I'll go to bed in a minute."

She looked at him, not really believing him but realising he was going to stay stubborn. "Okay, then. Goodnight."

The next day, she decided to plan an intervention.

They were all sitting in the control room, well, aside from River, who was currently under the floor quickly fixing something the Doctor had messed up before he realised what she was doing.

"River?" she said quietly, walking down the stairs. "Hey, I need to tell you something."

"Hang on a minute," she replied, pulling a lever and grinning in satisfaction. "Done! Right, what do you want to tell me?" She sat down on a step, patting the space next to her.

Amy joined her. "Well, it's about the Doctor. I'm kinda worried about him, and I was hoping you'd help me stage an intervention."

"What is it? I he okay?" She asked, her voice suddenly panicked.

"Yeah, he just isn't sleeping." she said quickly, trying to calm her daughter. "For the past three nights, I found him sitting somewhere in the middle of the night, fully dressed and drinking coffee. And last night he looked _exhausted_."

River rolled her eyes. "The sleeping again? He's so petulant, I swear."

"Wait, what do you mean?" Amy asked.

"He's done it before, and I thought I'd convinced him to stop. Basically, he just stays awake late because he can. I don't know if he's trying to prove something to himself, or just being childish, but I've found him plenty of times. Luckily, I can always convince him to come to bed." she laughed.

Amy shuddered. "Really didn't need to know that. So you'll help?"

She glanced up at the Doctor, who still seemed as if he was about to fall asleep, and nodded. "I'm in. What's the plan?"

Amy filled her in, and then went to find Rory. Now, all they had to do was wait.

* * *

Eventually the time came when Amy and Rory would go to bed. River always went a little while after them, they could always see her shadow when she crept passed their room. But today, they stayed.

The Doctor seemed to realise they were plotting against him, but didn't mention it. Rather they continued to talk as if nothing unusual was happening. Then he started for yawn.

"Time for bed, sweetie?" River suggested lightly.

"No, I'm good," he responded, smothering another yawn. Amy and Rory looked at each other.

"Okay," River shrugged.

The Doctor paused. "What do you mean, 'Okay?'"

"I mean okay," she replied with a smile. "Yahtzee, anyone?"

After a game of Yahtzee, the Doctor was yawning even more frequently and clearly was very tired. Even the three of them were starting to get tired, and had to stifle a yawn on more than one occasion.

Finally, he spoke up. "Aren't you three normally in bed right now?"

"I'm not tired at all, are you Rory?" Amy said happily.

"No, not at all. River?"

"Not in the slightest. In fact, I could stay here all night." she grinned.

"Okay. What is this, what are you doing?" The Doctor asked, practically pouting.

River looked at him, acting surprised. "Nothing, sweetie. We're not doing anything, why would you think that?"

"Because you're using some kind of reverse-psychology on me, which really isn't going to work by the way, because I'm not tired." he said grumpily.

Amy sighed. "Okay. You got us. Just... Go to bed, please. We're all three of us really worried about you, Doctor. You haven't been sleeping, you look really tired."

"Well, I'm not!" he insisted.

Amy leaned forward, looking at him in the eye menacingly. "Go. To. Bed."

He looked at her for a moment. "No." he folded his arms.

"Honestly, Doctor! Do you have to be such a child?" she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air and almost hitting him in the face. "Oops. Sorry." she whispered. "Now, go to bed RIGHT NOW or so help me god-"

"I don't want to!" he interrupted.

River looked on in amusement as the argument escalated into Amy trying to physically drag the Doctor to bed, which didn't work out so well. He was now sitting on the floor, hands wrapped around the control panel so she couldn't try to drag him away again. He looked... Adorable.

Meanwhile, Rory just looked confused. "I don't understand, why...?" he trailed off as Amy started tickling him to try and get him to move.

"Oh, don't question it. I've learnt not to." she said breezily. "Don't worry, this is all part of the plan, remember?"

He nodded, distracted as Amy had taken to standing on the Doctor. He really wasn't sure how that was helping, but he didn't question it.

Now, the Doctor was lying on the floor and Amy was sitting on a chair watching him. Every time he attempted to get up, she warned him that yes, she would stand on him again.

This continued for a few minutes. They sat watching him, Amy shushing them each time they tried to talk. Eventually, the Doctor's eyes started to droop, and about two minutes later, he was fast asleep.

"He didn't have any coffee," Amy whispered, grinning triumphantly. "Knew it would work."

"That's great, but now what? We can't just leave him here!" Rory said quietly.

"Well, we can't exactly, carry him, stupid-"

They turned around to see River hoisting the Doctor over her back as if he weighed no more than a feather. "Well, it has been fun. Goodnight, Mum, Dad!" she walked off, the Doctor swinging gently with each step she took.

Amy and Rory leant up against the console, a bit gobsmacked.

"Wow," Rory muttered. "Bed?" he asked suddenly.

"Bed." Amy agreed with a yawn, grabbing his hand and following the pair.

* * *

**I had a moment of panic where a fuse blew or something and all of the plug sockets went weird, including the one the wi-fi was plugged into, and I thought I wouldn't be able to update, but it's all good!**

**Until tomorrow, dears.**


	13. At the Beach

**A/N: Drowning... In... Prompts... I love it! Keep up the good work, you guys! The order I'm doing these in makes absolutely no sense. I think I have four others aside from this one, which came from the lovely Sophia Angelia. Well it wasn't a prompt, as such, she just asked me to write something including a cheesecake and a jellyfish... So, umm, Happy Birthday! Consider this as a birthday present.:)  
What else, what else. Oh yes! Kate, aka TimeyWimeyNerd beta this once again, she's a dear. Oh and I don't own Doctor Who. I'm sure you all know that. Keep on prompting, guys!**

**Allons-y!**

* * *

"A beach? You're taking us to a beach? It better be a beach on a different planet or something, because-" Amy froze, stepping out of the TARDIS door and onto...

A beach. Just a normal beach. In fact, it looked like Dorset or something, not anything special. The sky was grey, the sea was grey, and it was windy. So windy that all the sand blew up in her face, going in her mouth and stinging her eyes. She pulled a pair of sunglasses out of her bag that she'd packed for hot, normal beach-like weather, putting them on and blinking.

The Doctor and Rory stepped out after her. "Cooler than another planet," the Doctor said excitedly, then looked up. "Oh. I was aiming for a hot day in April, but at least it's not too busy."

"Dorset?" Rory read a sign. "What's so 'cool' about a beach in Dorset?"

He grinned. "Come and have a look." Amy and Rory shared a quick glance, but followed the Doctor as he walked quickly towards the big pile of rocks at the other end of the beach.

"What are we looking at, exactly?" Amy stepped over something that looked like sick, shivering. "Why do we have to go to Dorset to see it?"

"Uh, well, we don't really. We could have gone to almost any beach, I just happen to like Dorset," the Doctor explained, picking up a shell and sniffing it before tossing it. "Dorset smells nice, and their ice cream is _fantastic. _You're going to love it, Ponds. Hurry up, we're having a picnic after!"

Amy laughed sarcastically. "No way am I having a picnic on this beach. It's freezing cold, and thanks to the wind everything will just get full of sand."

The Doctor ignored her, continuing to walk steadily to the rocks. Amy sighed. Looking around, she only saw a couple of other people around, one man walking his dog and a couple strolling by the shore. She was really starting to wish that she'd worn tights, she was getting goose bumps. Well. At least she wasn't going to get sunburn.

Finally, they approached the rocks, and the Doctor began to clamber over them.

"What are you doing?" Amy hissed. "God knows what could be down there!"

"Don't worry!" he huffed, pulling himself up. "It's perfectly safe. I'm the Doctor, I always know what I'm doing-" suddenly he slipped, fell over the rock and landed with a thud. "No no no no!" he yelled. All they could hear was a lot of splashing and the Doctor's screams.

"Are you okay? Doctor!" Amy heaved herself up.

Rory grabbed her arm, trying to stop her. "Wait, let me go," he said, moving forward.

"Oh, don't be so stupid," she snapped, hoisting herself up and jumping down into the other side.

Muttering, her husband followed her, stopping dead at the sight before him.

The Doctor was soaking wet from head to toe and was covered in seaweed. It seemed as if the Doctor had fallen right into the rock pools below, which were...

Full of jellyfish.

"Well," he said with a smile, checking his arms and legs for any stings. "Here we are!" he gestured wildly.

"You wanted to show us the rock pools?" Amy raised an eyebrow, folding her arms.

"Not just the rock pools," the Doctor staggered over to her. "Look at what's in them, and prepare to be amazed, Pond!"

She looked at him incredulously, then bent down beside one of the pools. "So, what is it that's so cool, then?"

"Jellyfish!" he exclaimed. "Jellyfish are like the coolest animals ever. Well, on Earth. They're floaty things in the sea, how cool is that?"

"You could have taken us to an aquarium or something, where we weren't in danger of being stung. Y'know, jellyfish stings can actually be fatal-" Rory pointed out very seriously.

"Oh, shut up you!" The Doctor clapped him on the shoulder. "Looking at things behind glass is boring. But this..." he leaned over one of the pools, smiling at the jellyfish below, "... Is fun. And it doesn't matter if they sting you, because I brought this!" he fished around in his pocket, producing a small bottle of something or other.

"And what is that exactly?" Amy asked.

"Jellyfish sting antidote. There's this great planet I went to, full of jellyfish and just fish in general, they produce this stuff like calpol. I would have taken you there, but the people are rather hostile." he grimaced suddenly, the smiled again. "Picnic, then?"

Amy suddenly remembered the last picnic they'd had, the day the Doctor had died. She shook the memory away. "Okay then. But you better not have made sandwiches again, because those were just terrible."

He had been about to stroll back to the TARDIS to get the basket he'd left there when he turned back around. "Oreos in bread with nutella. It doesn't get better than that, Pond!" he laughed, running off.

* * *

"Cheesecake?" Amy asked, once the Doctor had returned and emptied the basket. "We're sitting on a beach, in Dorset, looking at jellyfish, eating cheesecake?"

"Pretty much, yeah. I like cheesecake. Cheesecake's good." the Doctor began to cut it into slices.

"This is one of the weirdest things we've ever done. And we've done some pretty weird things," Rory commented, taking a slice of cheesecake that the Doctor offered him.

"Well, that's us! Just the weird people that save the universe and each cheesecake with jellyfish," Amy nudged him, laughing.

"I'm not weird, I'm cool." the Doctor adjusted his bow tie. "You guys are the weird ones." he brought a slice of cheesecake up to his mouth just as Amy leant forward, shoving his arm so that he accidentally got it all over his face. "Amelia Pond!"

Amy and Rory just looked at him and started laughing. "This isn't funny!" he shouted. Suddenly, a particularly harsh gust of wind blew the sand all around them, most of it sticking to the Doctor's face. "I'm covered in sand and cheesecake, I hate you," he grumbled.

"You could always splash your face in one of the pools to wash it off," Rory suggested.

"Ha ha!" the Doctor said sarcastically, wiping it off with his hands and wiping his hands on Amy's jacket.

"Oh dear." Rory whispered. "Really shouldn't have done that, mate."

"Doctor! I am going to _kill _ you!"

* * *

**Also, I reached 50 reviews. Thank you guys so much, I've not even been doing this fic for a fortnight but I don't know, it feels like ages! Haha.**

**Until tomorrow!**

**P.S. I hope this uploads okay because the format has gone crazy. **


	14. Listening at Doors

**A/N: Oh hi! Onika Layton said 'River and the Doctor can be trying to move something, but it sounds like they're being erm... Quite intimate and stuff. And when Amy and Rory walk past they can be like 'What the hell!' I love it! I was going to write something else but then I had an idea for this and I HAD TO DO IT. Keep the prompts coming, guys! TimeyWimeyNerd betad this again. Sorry this one's quite short, but I literally wrote in 15 minutes in a cab. So yeah.**

**Umm, what else. I ****don't own Doctor Who. This is the 14th chapter, so happy two-week anniversary to TNSTWS. Yay! Anyway...**

**Allons-y!**

* * *

Rory had been walking through one of the many TARDIS corridors when he heard it.

An unmistakable groan. A groan that sounded like his daughter's voice.

While most of him said "Walk away, just walk away now," the fatherly part of him just couldn't. It was midday, and the sound was coming from... The kitchen.

"Amy!" he hissed. "Amy, come here!"

Amy poked her head out of their room. "What, what's wrong?"

"Shh!" he gestured. "Listen."

All they could hear now was a lot of creaking, and God knows what they were doing. When suddenly- "Put it in, Doctor!"

"Oh!" Amy clapped her hands over her ears. "Did not want to hear that. Come on, let's go."

Rory looked at her. "Amy, that's our daughter in there. In the _kitchen_. We can't just let this happen!"

"But she's all grown up, she can take care of herself!" Amy whispered. "This is none of our business, come on!"

"No, not like that! Yes, like that," they registered their daughter's voice again.

"Like this?" the Doctor's voice rang out into the corridor. They heard a large crash.

Amy and Rory looked at each other. "You're telling me when shouldn't do something? They're destroying the kitchen! I won't be able to go in there again without thinking about this," he shuddered.

"Okay," Amy had an idea. "Say we just leave now and talk to them about it later?"

Rory raised his eyebrows at her incredulously. "How awkward is that going to be?"

"Not as awkward as interrupting them!" Amy said a bit too loudly. She lowered her voice. "Let's just go. We can talk about it later, I really don't want to listen to this anymore-"

She was cut off by a particularly loud moan.

"Right, that's it! That's our baby in there, I don't even care, I'm going in!" Rory yelled, pulling open the door to see-

The Doctor and River trying to move the kitchen table.

"Oh, hello, Dad," River smiled. "Give us a hand, would you? The Doctor's useless at moving furniture, he keeps dropping it on my foot!"

"That was not my fault!" the Doctor argued. "You were holding it wrong. I don't see why you want to move it in the first place."

"Is it safe to come in?" Amy called from the corridor.

River and the Doctor looked at Rory, confused. "Yeah! Yeah, it's fine," he shouted back.

"Of course it's fine, why wouldn't it be fine?" the Doctor asked.

"No reason!" Rory said quickly. "It's just a small kitchen, y'know."

"Small? It's not small, how dare you-" the Doctor began, pointing his finger at Rory.

Amy walked in cautiously. "Wait, you guys were just moving furniture?"

"Of course we were moving furniture, what did you think we were doing - oh," River realised. "Oh." she laughed.

The Doctor looked from her to Amy, not understanding. "I don't get it, what's going on."

"Tell you later, sweetie," River smiled, patting his arm. "Just a little misunderstanding. But the kitchen? Honestly, what sort of woman do you think I am, Mother?"

Amy and Rory blushed.

"Well, actually, I'd be lying if-" she began conversationally.

"Okay, want some help?" Rory interrupted loudly, clapping his hands together once. "What exactly are you trying to do?"

Amy watched as they moved the table, thanking God that they were moving furniture. Rory was right. River still was her daughter, and though the Doctor was her best friend, he would have been the one she'd yelled at. Or possibly killed.

* * *

**Like I said, short. Until tomorrow!**


	15. Baby Talk

**A/N: Why hello there. The Prettiest Banana asked to see the Doctor interacting with a baby, so here you go! This was betad by Kate, aka TimeyWimeyNerd again, yay! Umm, I don't own Doctor Who, feel free to prompt etc. I'm not so sure how much longer the daily updates are going to last for, I found out today that I'm going to Dorset for the weekend maybe (ironic, considering yesterday's chapter) to see my family there so I don't know if I'll have internet. I'll try my best! If not, I may just write them in advance and get TimeyWimeyNerd to upload them for me. We'll see. Also sorry if there were a few mistakes last chapter, I just realised I didn't upload the one Kate sent back to me, I uploaded the unedited one, and because I was literally a zombie yesterday, it may not have made sense sometimes. Sorry about that. Anyway. All that's left to say is...**

**Allons-y!**

* * *

Amy, Rory, River and the Doctor were currently sitting in a chippie somewhere in London, or maybe on the outskirts. No one was entirely sure. But they'd got hungry and decided to have fish and chips, so here they were.

"I've missed good food," Amy sighed.

"Me too," Rory agreed. "I mean, fish and chips. It doesn't get any better than this."

The Doctor laughed. "Really? There's this one planet, and they serve the most amazing rhubarb. I know, sounds weird, but trust me. It's the best thing you'll ever taste."

"It's not." River smiled.

"Wait, you've been there? When?" the Doctor turned to her.

"Spoilers."

"Right, of course," he muttered, folding his arms. He really didn't like this whole 'spoilers' thing. This wasn't too bad, but there were other things, bigger things that she wouldn't tell him. Well, it was kind of necessary, but it was frustrating. And annoying.

Suddenly, a woman pushing a pram ran up to them. "Excuse me," she said breathlessly. "I'm so sorry, but would you mind watching him for a few minutes? There's been an emergency, I'll only be a moment."

"Of course!" The Doctor said with a smile. "We'll take good care of...?"

"Jeff, his name's Jeff. And thank you so much!" The woman ran out the door quickly.

"Jeff, how cool of a name is that? I wish I my name was Jeff," The Doctor leaned down so he was facing the child. "Hello, Jeff."

"Oh, not this again," Amy rolled her eyes.

"What?" River asked.

"He thinks he can speak baby," Amy explained.

The Doctor turned around, looking insulted. "Excuse you! I speak everything." He leaned back down. The baby, Jeff, made a series of unintelligible noises typical of all babies, and the Doctor laughed. "I know, Jeff, but don't be rude. They're not as stupid as they seem." He picked him up, placing him in his lap. "This is Amy and Rory Pond, and River Song," he gestured to each of them individually, than looked at them expectantly.

"What?" Amy said after a while.

"Aren't you going to say hello?" he asked.

"Don't be ridiculous, he's a baby." she sighed, sipping her drink.

Jeff cooed something. "What's that?" the Doctor asked, leaning down towards him. "That's a bit rude!" he laughed. "Seriously though, be nice, Jeff." He patted the baby on the head gently. "He wants you to say hello," the Doctor said to them very seriously.

Amy looked at him. "Oh for God's sake. Hello."

Smiling, he lifted Jeff into his arms. "And you two, thank you very much."

"Uh, hello?" Rory said awkwardly.

"Hello," River mumbled, not bothering to complain. She knew the Doctor well enough to know that it would only make things worse.

For the next ten minutes, while Amy, Rory and River sat eating their fish and chips, the Doctor 'conversed' with Jeff. Though they had been sceptic at first, it was actually starting to get weird. Jeff did make some sort of noise each time the Doctor spoke. Of course, it was just nonsense, but still. It was kinda weird. Then the woman came running back in.

"I'm so sorry to just dump him on you like that," she said, shaking each of their hands. "Thank you so, so, so much. I would stay for a bit but I've got to dash, bye!" As she ran out of the door, the Doctor waved at Jeff. And they might have been going crazy, but it looked like he waved back.


	16. Biscuits

**A/N:AAAAAAH I've had the craziest day ever and it's getting late and I haven't written this and asdfghjkl I'm freaking out right now I don't know if I'll get a chapter up tomorrow but I'll try my best  
So this is super super short and unbetad and not a prompt because I didn't have time to look through them I don't even I don't own Doctor Who allons-y and all that aaaaaaah**

* * *

The Doctor and Amy were sitting in the kitchen. Amy was drinking tea and reading, while the Doctor was eating jammie dodgers and staring at her.

Finally, she'd had enough. Putting the book away, she sighed. "What?"

"What what?" he asked, taking another jammie dodger out of the packet.

"You've been staring at me for the past ten minutes, what do you want?" she asked him.

"I haven't been staring at you!" he laughed.

She looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Fine, fine," he muttered. "I was wondering if you wanted a biscuit." he held the packet out towards her with a smile.

"A biscuit?" she spluttered. "You were staring at me for the past 10 minutes because you wanted to ask me if I wanted a biscuit?"

He nodded. "Yep, pretty much."

"What is wrong with you?" she shook her head.

"Nothing is wrong with me, I just like biscuits," he shrugged.

She picked up her book again, and the Doctor resumed staring at her. "Would you please stop doing that?" she asked, putting the book down.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just... You never answered the question," he smiled, holding the packet out again.

She leaned forward, trying to stare him down. "What is with you 'biscuit obsession' anyway?"

"Biscuit obsession?" he leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingers on the table as casually as he could. "I don't have a biscuit obsession, why would you say that, I just happen to appreciate snacks."

"This is serious!" she insisted. "You have a problem, and we need to talk about it."

"I don't have a problem!" he threw his hands in the air. At that moment, Rory strolled in. "Rory, do you think I have a biscuit obsession.

Eyeing the now three quarters empty packet that had been full ten minutes ago, Rory nodded.

"This is ridiculous!" he stood up. "I'll be right back."

Amy picked up her book and resumed reading.

A few moments later, the Doctor reappeared with a bored looking River Song.

"Hey, I didn't know you were here!"Amy said, noticing her daughter.

"I wasn't. The Doctor just picked me up, he said something about biscuits? I decided not to ask," she sat down. "So, what do you want, sweetie?"

"Well, I need you to settle something. Do you think I have a biscuit obsession?" he asked her.

She picked up the almost empty packet of jammie dodgers lying on the table."This was full ten minutes ago wasn't it?"

"Mm," Amy nodded.

"Yes, sweetie. I think it's safe to say you do have a bit of a biscuit obsession." she smiled at her husband.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "I do not. I just like them, okay?" No one answered him.

"You know what?" Amy looked up. "I think I will have that biscuit.

* * *

**Sorry sorry sorry sorry. Longer chapter tomorrow, I promise**


	17. I Don't Get Sick!

**A/N: Hello, lovelies. I'm really sorry about how short yesterday's chapter was. I don't want to go into too much detail but I feel like I owe you guys some sort of explanation for most times I don't write a long chapter, or update later than usual. This summer has been crazy because my little brother, who has autism, has been told that if he comes back to his current school he is likely to be permanently excluded. We're trying desperately to find somewhere that will take him that is nearby, which is practically impossible. The stress is driving me crazy, and with that and having my brother at home 24/7, I feel like I'm slowly going insane. But the internet is kind of a sanctuary. That's why daily updates have continued.  
**

**Serious bit over. This is a prompt from Onika Layton, which is actually quite old because I do my prompts in a completely unexplainable order that only makes sense to me (it really doesn't). Anyway. They said the Doctor can get sick, so here you are! Sick!Doctor is my new favourite, replacing drunk!Doctor. Whoa, long AN, sorry about that. This chapter is betad by TimeyWimeyNerd, yay! All that's left to say is...**

**Allons-y!**

* * *

The Doctor leaned over the control pad, sneezing violently and almost hitting his face in the process. "Ugh," he groaned, grabbing a tissue and wiping his nose. His head was throbbing. His nose was dripping, and he felt disgusting.

But he was not sick.

So it was absolutely ridiculous for everyone to keep saying that he was.

"You're sick," Amy said, not bothering with a greeting.

"Well, hello to you to," he muttered, fiddling with a few buttons.

She folded her arms. "Don't change the subject. You're sick, you need to go to bed."

"I don't get sick!" he insisted. "Why does everybody always think I can get sick, I'm a Time Lord. Time Lords don't get sick, at least not with... Severe colds."

"It's only going to get worse. So you can either stay here just to spite yourself, or go to bed, and Rory can help you get better." she patted his shoulder as he sneezed again, this time hitting his already hurting head.

"Oh God," he groaned. "I feel disgusting."

"That's it, I'm going to have to call River," she sighed, picking up the TARDIS phone." The Doctor reached out, grabbing her arm. "No! You don't need to - to worry-" he was interrupted by a hacking cough, and almost collapsed with the sheer force of it.

"Fine." she put the phone down. "But you have to go to bed right now, before you get worse or infect me."

"Okay, okay!" he gave in, letting her pull him to his feet and up the stairs. "But Rory won't be any use. This is a Time Lord virus, which means I'm probably dying."

She continued to haul him up steadily. "Don't be ridiculous, you're the last of your kind. Where could you have caught a virus from? A human. You've just got a bad cold, you're not going to die."

He turned to respond, then his face screwed up as he prepared to sneeze.

"No, no no no." she pushed his face away just as he sneezed, and grimaced. "Gross."

"I can't help it," he mumbled, stumbling down the corridor.

"So, where is your room anyway?" Amy asked, pausing.

"Down the hall, left, right, straight on, left, left." he coughed, gesturing wildly. She looked at him blankly. "Look, just come on," he grumbled, pulling her forward weakly.

* * *

Five minutes later, they arrived outside the door. "This is it!" the Doctor announced, trying to pull open the door.

"Here, I've got it," she said, feeling a bit of sympathy towards him. Pulling the door open, she pushed him inside gently.

He stumbled through the door, falling over onto the bed with a groan. "Uh, I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying."

"Don't be so dramatic," she rolled her eyes. "I'm going to go get Rory, okay?" she left him lying face down on the bed.

While she was gone, the Doctor reached into his pocket for the phone that Amy had insisted she carried around at all times, dialling River's number.

"Hello?" she said.

"River!" he called out, coughing loudly.

"Oh, hello, sweetie!" she replied, and he could sense her smile. "What's wrong, are you sick?"

"No, I'm dying," he moaned weakly.

"Oh, you've got a cold again?" she asked.

"What do you mean again! I've never had a cold!" he insisted.

She laughed. "Oh, yes. Spoilers. Anyway, what do you want?"

"What do I want? That's not a very nice way to talk to your husband!" he said petulantly.

"Okay, sorry, sweetie. You want me to come over?" she asked.

"Yes, please," he nodded, forgetting that he couldn't see her.

"I'll be there in a minute," she replied, and he heard beeping in the background. "See you soon."

"Kay," he sighed, hanging up and throwing the device on the floor.

At that moment, Rory strolled in, carrying a bottle of pills and a thermometer.

"That stuff's not going to work on me, y'know," the Doctor said, rolling over onto his back. "My body temperature's not the same as yours."

"Okay, so the medicine's still good," he shrugged, putting the thermometer aside and perching on the bed. "Now, take two of these now, and I'll come back when you need to take them again." he handed him the bottle of pills.

He looked at them as if they were about to kill him. "They're not going to help!"

"Just try them," Rory sighed.

"Fine, but it won't help," he insisted, opening the bottle and swallowing two pills. "Ack, it burns!" he sniffed.

"Oh, right. I forgot the water... Sorry." Rory realised, taking the pills back.

He crossed his arms, burrowing into his pillow. "Oh, River's here!" he exclaimed.

"How could you possibly know that?" Rory asked, walking out the door.

Sure enough, he heard River's voice floating down the corridor not seconds later. "Is he in his room?" she asked Amy.

"Yup, I had to practically drag him there. He'll probably still insist that he isn't sick," Amy replied.

"Oh, I know he will."

"River, hurry up!" he shouted croakily.

"No need to be so impatient, sweetie," she grinned, opening the door. "Oh, dear," she muttered.

"I feel disgusting," he muttered, burying his face in his pillow.

She moved to sit next to him on the bed, and despite her warning him that she would kill him if she got sick, she kissed him on the cheek and sat next to him until he fell asleep.

When Amy and Rory came back a few hours later to give the Doctor his medicine, they found the pair curled up around each other, sound asleep.

And even when River got sick, though she acted like she did, she really didn't care that much.

* * *

**So yeah, hopefully you can understand if I ever do upload a horribly short chapter or don't upload, something like that. Oh! Continue to prompt, guys.**

**TG **


	18. The Dog

**A/N: Another short one. I have had an even crazier day, and I wasn't even sure if I was going to get the chapter up. It got to about 9pm and I thought, 'Y'know what? I am getting that chapter up if it kills me.' So Masked Bard of Chaos said 'Could you do one where they find a dog and the Doctor wants to keep it?' I most certainly can! This was betad by TimeyWimeyNerd again, and very quickly, because she is amazing. I don't own Doctor Who, and... Well, allons-y!**

* * *

They were strolling down the road back to the TARDIS after a particularly disastrous mission that, well, they really didn't want to think about it, when they saw it.

A dog with an injured leg, limping along a few yards away. And, oh, this was not a cute, small dog. This was a _massive _dog. And as soon as the Doctor saw it, his eyes lit up, and Amy and Rory knew they were in trouble.

"Aww, look!" the Doctor cooed, running over to the animal and starting to stroke it. "We need to help it. Rory!" he called.

"How many times, Doctor, I'm not a vet!" he sighed, walking over despite his words. "Okay, let's have a look."

Amy ran over. "Rory, don't do this. He'll just get attached. Like the last time, remember?"

Oh, how could they forget the cat with the scratched eye. The Doctor had insisted on bringing it back to the TARDIS to help it, and it had gotten... Well, kinda lost. In fact, there may still be a cat somewhere deep within the TARDIS's corridors, or maybe a dead one. Which was actually a kind of creepy thought.

"So, shall we bring it back to the TARDIS?" the Doctor asked eagerly, rubbing his hands together.

"Don't be ridiculous, that thing is a beast! We'll never get it onto the TARDIS. More importantly, we'll never get it off," Rory replied, leaning down to look at the dog's injured leg.

"But we can't just leave it here!" the Doctor whined.

"Well, we'll call a vet," Rory shrugged.

The Doctor, who was still petting the dog, looked up at him as if he were evil. "But... It's hurt. And we don't even know where we are, you can't have any vets on your speed dial!"

"Well, if you're that bothered, we'll walk until we find one. You said we were in Manchester, right?" Rory asked him.

"Ah. Well. Manchester or Liverpool, I always get the two confused-"

"No!" Amy said suddenly. "No, we are not doing this again. We'll just leave it here and someone else will find it."

* * *

Five minutes later, the Doctor and Rory were carrying the dog into the TARDIS. Luckily, it seemed to be a bit of a lazy dog, so it wasn't too hard to pick up. But carrying it was no easy feat. Even together, they felt like they were about to collapse.

Finally, they lowered it onto the floor of the control room. "Okay," Rory said, stumbling over to a chair. "Now what?"

"Well, we have a first aid kit somewhere. You could bandage its leg or something?" Amy suggested.

"Depends on what kind of injury. It might need setting, in which case, I can't do anything." he wiped his brow.

"Well, I'll go get it," Amy said, walking quickly up the stairs and out of the room.

The Doctor was sitting with the dog, and it sounded like he was having a normal conversation with it.

"Don't tell me you can speak dog, too," Rory groaned.

"I can speak everything," he laughed. "Can't I, Thor?"

"You've got to be kidding me," Rory mumbled. "That dog's name is not Thor!"

"Yes it is!" the Doctor insisted. 'Thor' barked softly. "Don't worry, God of Thunder. They're just not listening."

Luckily, at that moment, Amy returned with the first aid kit, and Rory bandaged up 'Thor's' leg. And once he'd done, the Doctor started his attack.

"You know, it would be heartless to just toss Thor back onto the streets. What if his leg doesn't heal properly, or he gets attacked again?" the Doctor said nonchalantly.

"Attacked? Look at that thing. Nothing would dare to attack it," Amy laughed.

"'It's' name is Thor," the Doctor muttered.

She rolled her eyes. "There is absolutely no way I'm calling that dog Thor, and I refuse to believe you can talk to dogs."

"Fine," he shrugged. "But you're going to have to start calling him Thor, because we're keeping him!"

"Oh, no," Amy shook her head. "Absolutely not. I will call River about this. You think she will put up with a slobbering, massive dog? And it's just going to get lost like that cat you said was called Hawkeye that just happened to have an injured eye - wait a second..."

"We're keeping it!" the Doctor cut in.

"No, hang on," She said. "Why are all the strays you pick up named after comic book superheroes?"

"They're not just 'comic book superheroes'!" He replied, shocked. "It's 'The Avengers'. Come on, Pond, really?"

"The... What?" She asked, lost.

"The Avengers!" he exclaimed. "Don't tell me you've never heard of 'The Avengers', because they are cool - anyway, we're going off topic," he said hastily, noticing her expression. "We're keeping that dog."

"Hey, River," Amy said into the phone. "Yep, he's keeping one."

"When did you...? Never mind, just give it here!" he grabbed for it, but Amy moved backwards.

"Okay, I'll put you on now," she grinned, handing him the phone.

The second he'd held it to his ear, River started to talk. "Listen, sweetie. If you keep that dog, I will absolutely never talk to you again. Understood? Okay, bye-bye!" she said cheerily, hanging up.

Swallowing, the Doctor put the phone back.

"Still keeping that dog?" Amy asked triumphantly.

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

**Yes, an Avengers reference. I saw the movie ages ago when it first came out and I was scrolling through Tumblr when a gifset came up and I was like you know what? I'm putting in an Avengers reference! Because I'm a nerd. Anyway. Until tomorrow!**

**TG**


	19. Exploring

**A/N: Hello there. Today was the first day since I began writing this fic that I wasn't insanely busy, so I woke up thinking 'Today, I'm going to write a long chapter!' A several hour long How I Met Your Mother marathon later, I was thinking, 'Crap, I haven't written a chapter yet.' So, sorry, no insanely long chapter today. This one is a prompt from myheadwontcomedownfromtheclo ud who said 'You should do one where they all get lost somewhere. But the Doctor keeps insisting they're not lost, just exploring.' So here you are! As usual, this was betad by TimeyWimeyNerd, and as usual, keep prompting! **

**Allons-y!**

* * *

"France in the late 19th century, bursting with art, culture and bohemianism, you're going to love it!" The Doctor said excitedly, practically dancing around the console as he flicked several buttons, pulled several levers and twisted a few dials. "And, if I place us perfectly, we should land right on..." he pulled a final lever as the TARDIS began to shudder, laughing.

"Right on what?" Amy yelled, trying to steady herself by grabbing onto Rory's shoulders. Finally, it stopped.

The Doctor gestured towards the door. "Take a look outside."

They stepped outside to see... A busy street. Granted, it was pretty awesome. The pavements were cobbled, street-sellers lined the roads, it was definitely filled with culture.

"Right on a street? I mean, we didn't crash but-" Amy began.

"No, no, we were supposed to land on the newly built Eiffel Tower," the Doctor sighed. "Guess I misjudged a bit. Never mind! We're probably in Paris, let's just walk until we see it!"

"Probably in Paris?" Amy repeated. "_Probably?"_

"Well, I'm pretty sure - I mean, yes, Paris!" he said hastily. "Let's ask someone." The Doctor walked up to a woman standing on a corner, dressed rather provocatively, especially for the 19th century.

Amy eyes widened as she realised. "Doctor, you can't ask a prostitute for directions!" she hissed, grabbing his arms.

"Amy, you can't judge people on their appearances like that, I bet she's a perfectly nice girl," he shushed her, pushing her arm off and walking away anyway.

Rory walked up to her. "Is he really going to ask a prostitute for directions right now?"

"Yep."

He returned about half a minute later, red in the face. "Okay, bad idea. Let's stick with Plan A."

"What, just walking until we see the Eiffel Tower? Just accept that we're lost and land somewhere else," Amy shrugged.

"We're not lost, we're just... Exploring," he insisted. "Come along, Ponds!"

* * *

So they walked.

For a really, really long time.

About two hours since they began walking, Amy and Rory were fed up. "Look, let's just go back, before we get hopelessly lost," she suggested.

"We're not hopelessly lost. We were never lost, I know exactly where we are." he said happily, strolling ahead of them.

"This is ridiculous," Rory muttered to Amy. "I mean, are we even in the right year? Maybe the Eiffel Tower hasn't been built yet."

"I can hear you, and trust me, it's been built. We're in 1879," the Doctor called from in front of them.

Rory stopped. "Tell me you're joking."

The Doctor laughed. "Of course not, you think I don't know when the Eiffel Tower was built?"

"It was built in 1889."

"No it - oh, wait. It was, I remember when I met Alexandre in 1880, almost led to building the Tower several years too early," he realised. "Oops?"

Amy froze. "You're kidding me," she growled. "We have just spent two hours looking for something that doesn't exist yet?"

"Yes, sorry about that. But we could visit the Moulin Rouge! Wait, what was the year again? 1889? It's okay, it's just been built!" he grinned.

"No, we are going back to the TARDIS," she grabbed his arm. "What way did we come from?"

Swallowing, he gestured randomly. "Umm, that way?"

"What is wrong with you? Now we're lost, again! Honestly, Doctor!" she huffed.

"What do you mean, again? I never get us lost, and we're still not lost. We're exploring!" he scowled. "Do neither of you listen to me?"

"We try not to," Rory sighed. "We came from that way." he pointed down the street that they just walked out of.

"Yes we did!" the Doctor grabbed Rory, kissed him on both cheeks, and disappeared into the street.

Rory stood still, stunned. "Did he really just do that?"

"Yep, he did." Amy nodded, dumbfounded.

They stood in silence for a moment.

"Do you think 19th century France has places that sell fish and chips?" he asked.

"Probably not. Shall we go and see?"

"Lead the way, Mrs. Pond."

* * *

**Sorry it's kinda short again. Until tomorrow!**

**TG**


	20. Laser Tag

**A/N: I am so, so sorry. I just didn't have any time to update yesterday. I didn't actually get home 'til 1am because I was at the hospital. Everything is fine now though, I think. Nothing's wrong with me, it's just my brother collapsed and we thought it might be to do with his kidney (singular) but it's all good now. So after a few mugs of coffee, I think I'm good to go.  
This one is a prompt from InsaneWhovian who said 'The Doctor, River, Rory and Amy play laser-tag. But the Doctor accidentally made it sonic-tag, so everyone's ears hurt and some machines/appliances break. They try to decide who's fault it was, and how to undo it.' Your wish is my command!**

**It's sort of become a thing for me to say allons-y at the end of each AN. I'm not sure why. So, allons-y!**

* * *

"No. Absolutely not," Amy said, crossing her arms as the Doctor's smile faded.

"But it's laser tag? How could you not want to play?" he asked, dropping the laser guns he had found 'by chance'.

"Because that game is for twelve year olds, Doctor!" she scoffed.

He pouted. "Don't be boring, Pond. Live a little."

"How could you say that I don't live, we save planets several times a week!" she reminded him.

"This is different. It's laser tag! Just one game, and then we never have to play again. Promise!" he said eagerly.

She sighed, uncrossing her arms. "Fine! But you have to convince River!" she walked off, muttering.

"What about Rory?" he called after her.

She laughed. "Oh, don't worry. He'll do it."

"Thanks! You're the... Best," the Doctor called, realising she was gone. Sitting on the box he'd found the guns in, he took out his sonic screwdriver. He should be able to charge them up easily. He was sure he'd never used them before, he didn't even know why they were there, but they were pretty cool.

"There, that should do it," he said to himself, sonic-ing the last of the guns and trying to twirl it which, uh, didn't go to well. Wincing, he picked it up off his foot, limping off to find River.

"River!" he yelled. "River, where are you?" he walked awkwardly through the TARDIS corridors, trying not to put too much weight on his foot.

"I'm taking a bath!" he heard her shout from... Well, somewhere.

"Which bathroom are you in?" he shouted back, listening for a response.

"I don't know, the one with the ridiculously large rubber duck collection?" she called back.

The Doctor dropped the guns with a loud 'Oof!' "They all have rubber ducks in, and my rubber duck collection isn't 'ridiculously large'," he huffed.

"Why?" she asked coyly. "Care to join me?"

He instantly dropped the guns he'd just picked back up, face bright red. "River!" he hissed. "Just... Hurry up, and meet me in the control room when you're done. We're going to play laser tag!" He ran off.

"We're going to play what?" she screeched, but he'd already gone. Sighing, she pulled herself out of the tub, drying quickly. God, the Doctor was such a child sometimes.

Five minutes later, all four of them were gathered in the control room. The Doctor had insisted that they stood in a horizontal line for 'The Giving of the Guns Ceremony', and Amy, Rory and River thought it best not to argue. However, they did draw the line on saluting him.

"Right, soldiers! To you, this may be a simple game of laser tag," the Doctor began seriously, strolling up and down in front of them.

"Oh, here he goes," River rolled her eyes.

"But to many, this is life and death!" he wagged his finger at River. She was unable to take him seriously, and had to hide back a smirk. "So when we are out on that field-"

Rory raised his hand nervously. Amy looked at him like he was the biggest idiot on the planet, muttering something that sounded like 'Why did I marry this man'.

"Yes, Comrade Rory," the Doctor pointed at him.

"Well, I just wanted to know where the field is," he said awkwardly.

"Good question, Comrade Rory, but I was just about to tell you the answer to the question, which is you're standing on it." the Doctor replied. "Anyway-"

"The 'field' is the control room? Isn't that a bit small?" Rory interrupted.

The Doctor stopped talking, shaking his head as if he pitied Rory. "Don't be ridiculous, comrade. The field is the whole of the TARDIS-"

"Well isn't that a bit big-"

"No more interruptions!" the Doctor yelled, then grinned. "Ooh, this is fun. Anyway!" he cleared his throat. "The field includes everything within a certain radius of this room. Wait!" he said quickly as Rory opened his mouth again. "Yes, I marked it already. Don't step over the yellow line, comrades."

He stood silently for a moment. "Oh yes, the guns!" he walked in front of them again, handing each of them a gun and bowing to them after he did so. "Good luck, comrades. Geronimo!" he saluted each of them, while they looked at him, eyebrows raised. "That was the signal to go!" he hissed.

"Go where?" Amy asked.

"Anywhere. I'll count you down over the intercom," he grinned. "Now go!"

They walked off, chatting as they did so. "Look sharp, comrades, take haste!" the Doctor bellowed. When they turned around, looking at him blankly, he sighed. "Hurry up!"

Running off quickly, they disappeared up the stairs in seconds. The Doctor smiled, walking over to the console. He picked it up, and began counting down. "Three, two, one... Go!" He ran off, ready to become the master of laser tag.

Meanwhile, Amy was steadily stalking Rory. She had seen River a couple of minutes ago, but had seen her daughter with a gun before and decided Rory was the safest option.

Finally he stopped. They had gone in a full circle back to the control room, and were now walking round the console. It was kind of stupid that he hadn't turned around, thought Amy as she leaped in front of him, taking aim at the target on his chest and shooting repeatedly.

Several things started to happen all at once.

Firstly, there was an ear-splitting noise that sounded like a extremely high pitched scream. This caused Amy to stop, and both of them to put their hands over the ears. At the same time, sparks starting to shoot from the console and the whole TARDIS started to shake. Also, all the lights went out.

The Doctor came running in, hands over his ears. "What did you do?" he shouted over the noise, pulling out his sonic screwdriver and trying to stop the noise. It did so, and he began running around the console, pulling and pushing and flicking things, but the sparks didn't stop and they still weren't stable, not to mention the pitch black darkness.

"I didn't do anything!" Amy protested. "It was the gun, it made everything go weird!"

"Yes, well, it was the gun you were holding," the Doctor said through gritted teeth, connecting cables together.

River walked in calmly, pushing the so-called 'blue boring-ers'. Now the TARDIS was no longer shaking, at least. She flicked a few switches and the sparks stopped flying.

"There," the Doctor said a little breathlessly. "I fixed it."

River patted his arm. "Of course you did sweetie. Now, let's talk about how you had us playing a game of sonic tag, shall we?"

"Sonic tag?" he spluttered. "What do you mean? This wasn't my fault, Amy did something?"

"I just shot the target thing, I thought that was what you were supposed to do," Amy cut in.

"Why did you have to go after me? I'm your husband! We're supposed to be, y'know, a team!" Rory said.

Amy ignored him. "I can't believe you would blame this on me, there your guns! And you were doing something to them with your stupid screwdriver, I saw you!"

"I was charging them!"

"Yeah, with... Sonic-y... Stuff!"

"Okay, calm down!" Rory walked in between them quickly. "Though, Doctor, it was your fault."

"See!" Amy said triumphantly.

"No, no, I'm sure I-" the Doctor began, checking his sonic screwdriver. "Oh." He looked up guiltily. "Sorry, gang."

"Every time," River muttered.

"You mean this happens again?!" Amy asked incredulously.

"You mean this happens again?" the Doctor asked excitedly.

She smiled at them. "Spoilers."

They did play it again. And, every time, they ended up playing 'sonic tag', though by the fifth time, they just carried on playing anyway.

* * *

**Tomorrow will be the 21st chapter, so not only will it be extra long, it will be extra special:D**

**TG**


	21. Rollerskating

**A/N: Wow. First of all, I am so so sorry. I left you guys for SO LONG. Life has been so hectic lately, with my brother and then starting counselling and my family and other WIPs and blargh.**

**I wasn't going to update this until I finished Everything Is Ending (Now I shall shamelessly plug my own story and push any River/Eleven shippers who like a bit of angsty fluff in the direction of EIE) but I miss y'all. Now I'm back, I have many people to thank...**

**Thanks to TimeyWimeyNerd for being a fantastic beta and awesome person. I. LOVE. YOU.**

**Thanks to everyone who's been here from the beginning, the 'regulars' ;). You know who you are: Sophia Angelia, cmartlover, Antasia Dove, DoCtOrWhOlUvEr11... all of you who remember when I used to update daily...**

**Thanks to myheadwontcomedownfromtheclo ud for the 100th review!**

**And finally, thanks to everyone who has read, followed, favourited, reviewed, everything. You are seriously wonderful (and a bit crazy for liking my little old story).**

**Oh, and in terms of the Ponds, imagine these are all set pre-TATM. Perhaps after Christmas, I'll do a couple with the new companion, but for now, nothing is changing. No I'm not in denial why would you think that I'm fine totally over it and - anyway...**

**This is a prompt from Sophia Angelia, who said 'Rollerskating, the Doctor falls on his face while showing off to the Ponds (who don't know how to skate).' **

**I used to go to rollerskating classes, and I actually got kinda good... I wonder if I've still got it...**

**I don't own Doctor Who, don't sue, etc.**

**Please continue to prompt now I have returned!:)**

* * *

"We're on Earth, again?" Amy asked, stepping out of the TARDIS. They hadn't been to a 'proper planet' in ages, and she was starting to get bored.

The Doctor followed her out. "Yep! Fantastic, isn't it? We've been doing an awful lot of saving the world lately, so I thought we should relax a bit."

"Relax how? I seriously hope we're not getting massages again, because last time that poor girl had a panic attack when she felt your heartbeats," she remembered.

"No. This is way better, you're going to love it!" he grinned. "I am so excited, you have no idea."

Glancing at the Time Lord, Rory raised his eyebrows. "I think we do."

The Doctor was actually jumping up and down on the pavement - something which attracted many looks from passers-by, but nothing they weren't used to - and was wearing what he liked to call his 'special bowtie'.

"Oh, god, he's wearing the special bowtie again," Amy whispered to Rory. "Nothing good ever happens when he wears that."

The Doctor stared at them indignantly. "I can hear you, Ponds. And I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Really?" Amy folded her arms. "List of times bad stuff happened when the Doctor wore his special bowtie, go."

"Well, there was the incident at Oscar Wilde's trial-" Rory began.

"Come on! It was not my fault the vicar decided we were using witchcraft," The Time Lord grumbled.

"-And the Oods on Trion-"

"Okay, yes, it was my fault the King fell out of the window." he raised his hands in defeat.

"Then there was-"

"I get it, I get it!" he exclaimed. "But nothing can go wrong. We're on Earth, safest planet in all the galaxies! Well, actually, no. It's not that safe. But don't worry, we'll be fine!" He started walking down the street, gesturing for them to follow him.

"Great way to reassure us!" Amy huffed, stomping after the Doctor and grabbing Rory's hand to drag him along.

They ended up in a sort of hall filled with 10 year old children, blaring out whatever songs were in the charts these days while lights flashed. "You've got to be kidding me," Rory muttered, staring at the kids whizzing round on rollerskates.

Amy shook her head. "This is ridiculous," she sighed, as they watched the Doctor talking to a very confused lady at the place where you could pick up skates. "He is ridiculously uncoordinated. How is he going to rollerskate without killing several children and himself?"

"Amelia!" he yelled from the booth. "What size are your feet?"

She turned to Rory, staring at him as if she was waiting for him to do something.

"What?" he asked her.

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm not going over there. I am going to sit down there," she gestured to the slightly quieter cafe, "And watch you two have fun and bond together."

"Oh, wait a second." Rory furrowed his brow. "Why do you get off?"

"Because I'm your wife and I said so," she told him with a smile. "Now go have fun!" she pushed him in the direction of the Doctor.

"No no no, you're not getting out of this one," he insisted, taking her hand and leading her towards the stand.

Amy started walking in the other direction. "Uh, yes I am," she said, gritting her teeth.

"Do I need to remind you of The Incident?" Rory asked.

She huffed. "I can't believe you're still going on about that, it was just a kiss." seeing the look in his eyes, she gave in. "Fine! But you owe me."

"I always owe you," Rory mumbled, leading them towards the Doctor again. The woman that he was talking to now looked just plain scared, as the Doctor rambled on about 'how nice it was to have a break from saving the planets', and 'how there was a severe lack of good places to rollerskate across the solar systems'.

"Doctor?" Amy said quickly. "Why don't you go and sit down on that bench, and we'll sort the skates out. Okay?" she spoke as if she was talking to a child, which was not surprising, considering how much of a child the Doctor could be at times.

"Good idea. Lovely to meet you," he told the woman, before lolloping off towards a bench, almost knocking a child over in the process.

"Oh, this is such a bad idea," Rory groaned.

* * *

Ten minutes later, they were making their first tentative steps onto the slippery, wooden surface as children flew past. Amy was trying to keep her dignity by taking tiny steps, Rory was just trying not to fall over, and the Doctor was... Well, the Doctor.

That meant that his arms were flailing, legs kicking out, as if he was doing his special 'wedding dance' but on skates. Amy had just about made it and was grabbing the railing when she heard a yelp from behind her.

Turning around cautiously, she found the Doctor seconds from falling over, desperately gripping Rory's arm to stay above the ground. "Boys," she muttered, rolling her eyes and shuffling off.

_Crash!_

Slowly, she turned back. The Doctor was lying on the floor, Rory on top of him, who was clearly pulled down as the former fell. Rory made some sort of attempt to get up without actually putting his hands on the floor - worried that his fingers would be run over - which failed miserably.

Other kids were heading towards them, and Amy realised what was happening a second before it did. The first child managed to stop, grabbing hold of the railing and slowing down just in time. Unfortunately, this was not the case for the next one.

A little boy came careering into the stationary child, pushing him on top of Rory and the Doctor.

Amy was mortified.

She could turn around and skate away like she didn't know them - but no, she wasn't that mean. Muttering under her breath and going back towards them cautiously, she reached an arm out to her husband.

Luckily, in the time it had taken her to travel the few feet, the other children had got up and skated off to their parents, pointing in their direction. "Crap," she said under her breath, shuffling a little closer so Rory could reach her hand. "Ready? One, two, three!" she pulled as hard as she could, and Rory just about managed to put one of skates one the floor before his ankle twisted.

She winced at the crack.

Rory had turned as pale as a ghost. "Uh, Amy?"

She looked up. "Yeah?"

"My ankle is broken."

Laughing nervously, she waved the statement aside. "Don't be such a baby, it was just a bad twist-"

"Amy. You heard it, I heard it, and I'm a nurse. My ankle is broken and it really, really hurts-"

"His ankle is broken," the Doctor cut in, nodding. He sat up, causing Rory to fall to the side and land on his already broken ankle.

It was about then when the man swore loudly.

Very, very loudly.

And, of course, the music had just stopped. Not only had every child heard, but their parents had heard, and they were now staring at the group with a mixture of shock, horror and disgust.

"I told you not to wear the bowtie," Amy hissed as a burly security guard walked towards them.

"Sirs, ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," the man said threateningly.

"Ah," the Doctor said from the ground. "Bit of a problem there, I'm afraid. He broke his ankle and I can't get up, so - _oof!"_

The man had pulled the Doctor to his feet. "I'm sorry, but I have to insist.

Rory turned around as best as he could. "Can you just call an ambulance? I have a broken bone!"

Looking unconvinced, the man stared Rory down. "Sir, I'm not going to ask you again."

_Right, _Amy thought. _Time to break out the big guns. Just as well she'd thought to wear a skirt. _"We're so, so sorry," she laughed, twirling her hair. "Accidents happen, people make mistakes, y'know? But if you called an ambulance for my friend, I'd be _very _grateful."

"Friend? Friend? I'm your h-" Rory was interrupted by Amy kicking him lightly in the ankle. He hissed, swearing under his breath. Ah. Well, she thought it was a light kick.

"Why didn't you say so, ma'am?" The security guard sounded apologetic. "Somebody call an ambulance, this guy's broken his ankle!" he yelled, and the woman that the Doctor had been scaring took out her phone.

Rory glared at the guy, who was now walking around, yelling things like 'Clear the area!' and 'Give the guy some space!' Amy knelt down next to him. "You know I hate it when you do that," he grumbled.

"Oh, you're welcome," she replied sarcastically. "It's not like I just stopped us from being escorted off the premises, or anything." His face fell, as it often did when she snapped at him. "Sorry. I was trying to help."

He sighed. "I know." Then he was trying to sit up, wincing as he jostled his ankle.

"Hey, I'm no nurse but I think you should stay still-" she began.

"Yeah, you're probably right," he wheezed through the pain, but continued to try and sit up. "I just really don't want to be carried off on a stretcher."

At that point, the Doctor bounded over. "So..." he said a little awkwardly. "On the bright side, we weren't sentenced to death this time!"

Rory looked at him incredulously. "You broke my ankle!"

"Actually," he said, pointing his finger. "I didn't. You broke your ankle. And Amy was the one pulling you up-" he stopped talking as she started glaring at him. "Yes, well. It was nobody's fault."

"I'm going to burn that bowtie," Rory told him.

The Doctor stared at him as if he had said that he was going to burn several newborn children alive and then eat them. "But... but... It's my special bowtie!" He spluttered.

"And it's my ankle!" he reminded the alien, "And it's ridiculous."

"It is not ridiculous!" the Doctor insisted.

"It's covered in Christmas trees! It's not Christmas!"

Amy looked at the two, an amused expression on her face. "Calm down, kids. Plus, I think the ambulance is here."

The two stayed silent. The Doctor had folded his arms, and was now pouting petulantly, and Rory was either still angry about the whole flirting thing or had decided that it was her fault his ankle was broken. Either way, he was ignoring her.

"You. Are. Such. Children!" Amy said through gritted teeth. "This is all your fault, Doctor. Why did we come here? Rollerskating? Really? With your coordination, as well! You might as well have brought us to the planet of the Daleks!" With that, she stormed off dramatically.

After a while, Rory spoke up. "I blame her Scottishness. It's always - oh god. She's gone to talk to the security guard again. Go and do something will you?"

The Doctor patted his shoulder. "I'm on it." He ran over awkwardly, obviously having forgotten his shoes had miniature wheels on them. He approached the pair, waving his arms wildly.

Rory looked away with a groan. His ankle really, really hurt. And his wife wasn't talking to him. He was lying on a rollerskating rink while kids pointed at him. He put his head in his hands, feeling a headache coming on.

"Hey, stupid face," Amy said above him. "The ambulance is here."

"Oh, tell them I'll be straight over - oh wait, I can't walk," he replied sarcastically.

Amy kneeled down to face him. "I'm sorry I broke your ankle. I'm sorry for flirting with the security guard."

Rory said nothing, waiting.

"Oh fine," she sighed. "I'm sorry for wearing the skirt. Happy?"

"I've been happier," he grimaced, the pain in his ankle flaring up again.

"How about I let you burn my skirt with the Doctor's bowtie? Now how do you feel?"

"Ecstatic." he grinned.

"But you have to get a pink cast."

"No! Absolutely not happening."

Five hours later, Rory hobbled into the TARDIS - each of his arms around the Doctor and Amy - wearing a bright pink cast.

* * *

**A longer one (by my standards, anyway) to make up for my absence.**

**Until next time - which is hopefully soon but many not be due to NaNoWriMo which you should totally do if you like writing original fics just google it and yeah.**

**TG**


End file.
